Frozen Instant
by nutellatacos
Summary: [SV] [Chp. 12 up!] A moment without pain and hurt; only enough love to freeze an instant in time..
1. Frozen Instant

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A/N: I swear I wrote this fic at around two in the morning. (*,*) After I saw the trailer for "Blowback," I was inspired and the little light bulb over my head wouldn't turn off. Forgive me for any mistakes you might find or how dumb the title is, (I HATE the title) because one, I wrote this again at two in the morning, two, I have no beta. (Speaking of which, if you're interested, note that in the review that you will hopefully give) Before you read, I want to add a little warning: this fic isn't what you might think it is, but jump to conclusions; it's fun! 

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Archive: FF.net and eventually COVERme, Allies and maybe even SD-1 and AllAlias. I can almost promise I won't mind if you ask. 

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Timeline: End of "Blowback?" Middle? I don't know, I haven't seen the episode. :P 

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Spoilers: A single line made by a Mr. Julian Sark from 3.14 - "Blowback." 

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Disclaimer: I would be working on a better computer if I owned _Alias._ Come to think of it, I don't really think I would be writing a fanfic if I owned it, so no, but thanks for assuming. :) 

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+Frozen Instant+

I remember back when we were dating, Sydney and I would spend hours upon hours doing absolutely nothing. We used to lie in state with her in my arms talking or just vasting in silence. Neither of us ever had a problem with it. She reminds me of this when she shifts a little in my arms making me wish for who ever was listening to let me make this moment stand still in time. A moment without pain and hurt; only enough love to freeze an instant in time. 

__

Sydney in my arms. 

It's where she belongs and where I always wanted her to stay. 

We were oblivious to everything outside the little world we had created and only now do I notice Jack Bristow yelling in my ear. I almost blush thinking of what he could have heard. The thousand "I love yous" I've told her and the all the ones she's returned. I help Syd take the comm. out of her ear before I reach around with my free hand to take mine out. No doubt, there would be agents storming in here any second now looking for us since we had been gone so long, but I could care less. I loved Sydney Bristow and I'm certain now that she knows it. 

I hear another sound in my ear but this time its the echo of metal on concrete. My mind wandered back to earlier today when that bastard Sark had put a gun at Sydney's head. 

Is it bad that that image hurt me more than seeing Lauren's life endangered back in that little fiasco in Mexico? 

Suddenly, we were in the digital storage facility and the only thing that ensured Sydney's safety was my sound judgment. 

"If you love her, you will drop that gun!"

It took Sark, one of my most hated enemies and Lauren herself to make me realize that for once, Weiss was right; you can't love two women at the same time. I don't think I ever did either because I know now that I loved only her and that being as bullheaded as I was, I never realized it, not until now 

Syd takes me out of my thoughts for a moment as she bats her eyelashes against my arm, one of the only thing she seems to have energy for. I look down at her and chuckle softly knowing that she did that on purpose. She knew how weird I thought it felt and it was always an inside thing between us. I pull a stray hair out of her face as I bend down to kiss her forehead. 

I honestly convinced that I can't meet someone I find more beautiful than Sydney. If she looked like some of my first girlfriends, I wouldn't care because the most beautiful thing about her is her spirit and compassion. 

She opens her eyes slightly when my lips leave her forehead. She has a serious expression on her face that is so full of love. "I love you, Vaughn" she says again in a soft voice. Even though I know this now, it never ceases to take my breath away. 

"I love you too." I manage to say. I bend down and place another soft kiss on her lips, letting my cheek idle against hers. "Forever and a day." 

"Forever and a day.." she mummers. My eyes squeeze tight again and this time, a tear drops out without my knowing. 

Syd called me her guardian angel once but I can't watch over her anymore. I'll only have her for a few minutes more because all my consciousness has been trying to deny the fact that Sydney Bristow is dying. 

Sydney Bristow is dying. _My_ Sydney. 

The same Sydney who had gotten out of more near-death experiences than I could count was dying. The same one that had stopped evil so many times was slowly losing the battle against it herself. 

My Sydney is going to be an angel and she had promised she'd watch over me for once; at least until the day comes when I can be with her again. 

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A/N: Is it snobby of me to want to cry because of my own fic? Well this fic is short, (921 words) and a little more different from any I've ever read so please dear reader, review and tell me what you thought. Also checking out my other fics would be another great idea. :D 


	2. Faith

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A/N: First of all, some fics are meant to be one parters and frankly, I'm not the saga-chapter writing type, but I was "inspired" by a new mix I made from songs from season's one-three and a beautiful poem I read which will make an appearance in the next chapter. It made me cry which leads me to apologize to those of you that were ticked I didn't add a tissue warning. :blush: Sorry.. I wanted the ending to really take you off guard and adding the "not what you expect" part was too much already. I really didn't expect to continue this, but I got a few encouragements, so here's my stab at an actual story and many sorries if it's not as good as the original. Everything's the same as fore-mentioned. 

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Archive: FF.net and eventually COVERme and Allies. E-Mail me at hotmail or IM me, (it's _always_ bubbicup) if you have an archive and for some reason, think my fic is good enough to be on it. 

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Soundtrack: Well I never do this but, "Be Still My Soul," Lisbeth Scott and "So Are You to Me," eastmountiansouth, (argh.. It's angsty I know) and "Delicate," Damien Rice just because. :P

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Dedication: To **linz**_, _who left me the most aww-worthy _Alias_ review I've ever received. Hopefully she's reading this.. :D Oh and Wendino, who's a closet fan and hated the first chapter.. (Don't ask.) 

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Disclaimer: I'm borrowing them mentally for about fifteen minutes or however long it takes for you to read this fic. Michael will not be a good boy and change his mind and stay forever though.. Huhmm.. 

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Chapter 2 - Faith

At this point, she's crying too and I can't stand it; I never could and every time she does, I can't help but think that it's my fault even though it couldn't be farther from the truth. This time though, it _is_ my fault though. There's no second thinking that can change that fact. I had trained for moments like that; they taught us what to do in every possible scenario back at the Langley. Nothing could register at that moment though and only then did I realize that I'm really not all that cut out to be an agent. What kind of agent am I if I can't even protect those closest to me? 

Why I believed him, I don't know. I was trusting Sark. _Sark_ _for God's sake. _He shot me and I almost put his head through a table afterwards; we're not exactly going to exchange Christmas cards anytime soon, but I didn't think about that or care for the matter. If I surrendered, he would let Sydney go and that's all that mattered to me. The cynic in me laughed a little. That isn't how Jack's going to see it. 

If there was a way to get revenge, this is how Sark would do it. Kissing Lauren after pulling the trigger didn't do anything to me. Now Sydney was holding on to dear life- literally. She told me right after she was shot to not bother getting her to the medics because she knew almost as well as I did that she wasn't going to make it. I was stunned by those words; was she suffering that much that she didn't care anymore? Right now though, I know why she's crying. It's not because of the pain; that's bull. She regrets what she said.

Suddenly, I hear her speak. "Vaughn.. I want my ashes spread at that beach. My _real_ ashes this time.. It seemed really pretty.." She says softly trailing off. 

It kills me to hear her like this. I choke back another sob. "Don't- don't talk like that Syd."

"I want you to speak at my service and for my dad to be there; and Weiss and Marshall. Oh.. Carrie and the baby too..." Even through her tears, she's smiling. So pauses for a moment to collect her thoughts. "I dreamt once that we were married and we-we had a little baby. He looked exactly like you.." She stops and buries her head in the crook of my arm. 

"Yeah?" I know it hurts her to talk but hearing her voice assures me that's she's still alive. It's selfish of me, but...

She mummers something into my arm and I can barely hear her now. "Promise that you won't forget about me..." 

This statement shocks me more than her deteriorating voice. Before I have a chance to speak, I hear Weiss of all people. I turn my head slightly, and he's there with a group of green agents, more concern on his face than the anger I expected. I look down at Sydney again. She's smiling softly. 

"You didn't answer the comm.. How-how is she?" He stammers. 

I don't answer and gently pick her up following them back to the van. When we get there, we're greeted by some EMTs and Jack Bristow. The surprises keep coming, don't they?

The EMTs push out a gurney but I'm reluctant to put her on it. Jack hurries to us and spots her. Without another word, he takes her from my arms and with as much tenderness as I've ever seen form him, places her on the bed. In a flash second, she's wheeled inside and someone helps me into the ambulance. All this time, my eyes are on Sydney; hoping that in age that could do so much, can somehow save the woman I love. 

She turns from me to look at Jack. "Daddy..." 

Jack brightens up a little. "You're going to be okay, sweetheart." He says softly. 

It's moments like these that make me think that Jack's actually human but I can see the same fear in his eyes and I know that he doesn't believe this any more than I do. Sydney does nothing but nod slightly.

I take her hand into mine and I'm surprised that it's ice cold. I do my best to warm it and my efforts get me a smug smile from Sydney. "You're always trying to take care of me Vaughn; think of yourself for once."

An EMT taps me on the shoulder, almost afraid of ruining the moment. "Sir. Your, uh.." He mumbles nervously looking at my arm. There's a gash that I didn't even know was there. I take a moment to look at myself; there's blood all over my front. _Sydney's blood_. I almost break again and she looks on, understanding; her face so serene. 

"What about my daughter?" Jack pipes up. 

The EMT stutters again. "There isn't much that we ca do here.." Before he suffers the wrath of Jack Bristow, he quickly adds, "In here! In the ambulance!" 

He looks at him intently. "Do you have pliers and some gauze?" 

-:-:-:-

In all the time I've known Sydney, I've been in a hospital twice and each time, she's been there at my bedside. I don't know how she manages it because it's more than I can bear; seeing beautiful, strong Sydney look so helpless. After Jack and the hospital's surgery, being in a coma is a successful stage for someone in Syd's case. 

Someone forced Jack to get some sleep and somehow, I'm harder to convince. No one has been around for about an hour now and the my friends and the staff seem to realize I'm staying. They gave me a some drugs, "for the pain," but what it's really for is to keep me out while Sydney is. My eyes are drooping but I'm determined to stay awake to be here for her. I give in finally, climbing into the bed and place my head lightly on her chest. 

My thoughts roam to the day we first met. I suddenly find myself speaking out loud. "Remember your red hair? I think you hated me when we first met. Or else my dentist wasn't good enough." I chuckle softly and all I hear is silence and the steady beeping of the heart monitor. I know she won't answer me, but I don't care. "Hopefully that's changed." I say smiling dimly.

"After we took down SD-6.. And remember our cold dinner?" The memories are circling fast in my head now. "You actually got a goal against me the first time we played hockey."

I didn't want to go on in our little timeline because we both knew that how it ended. My eyelids are getting heavy now, then I remember the moment before we went to the ambulance. 

"I would never forget you, Sydney Bristow." I say to her sleeping form. My eyes flutter and close as I trust my faith for once and hope that when I wake up, it'll be next to her again if only for just once more. 

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TBC

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A/N: A little less agnsty but I still don't like this chapter more than the original. :sigh: Hopefully though, you guys liked it and will review/comment because I _love, **love,**_ to read feedback. **You do not have to have an account to review. ** (Yes that's how much I want responses) The funny thing is that it also makes me update _much_, **_much,_** faster.. Hee.. No, I'm not blackmailing you, just pushing you in the right direction. :P 


	3. The One

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A/N: Whew.. I hate this cheesy title.. This was hard to write. This chapter was suppose to be the last one but after a lot of wonderful encouragement from wonderful reviewers, (have I told you guys I loved you today?) I decided to take this fic in a whole other direction. I still want to do the other ending so that will be up after the end of this story for you guys to read and hopefully review. I was really blocked when I wrote this chapter and Rick was originally going to be a stingy guy who criticizes Vaughn but I luckily, I got that out of my system. This chapter is short, a little different, but less angsty, so that's good. Ehr.. I think. 

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Archive: FF.net, COVERme, and Allies. Elsewhere, e-mail me and I promise I'll say yes unless you have a "Crappiest Fics Online" archive, in which case, I'll have to think about it. Lol 

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Dedication: To **linz** again, who I promise I would love nothing more than to see alive. :P Also to **bubbles**, for telling it like it is, **TheUpTownGirl**, **largemarge416**, **notjustme **(at least I _think_ she liked it) and other anonymous reviewerswho I successfully made cry/sad/choke up; yes! Lol. I'm kidding. But them and all the reviewers rock and I'm officially doing it for you guys now. :D

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Soundtrack: "My Sundown" by Jimmy Eat World- kind of inappropriate since it was played during the infamous "morning after" scene but a **great **song for wallowing, dwelling or Vaughn's position. 

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Disclaimer: They belong to the head honcho and his homies (hee) and for the record, I still believe in J.J!

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Chp. 3 - The "One"

When I wake up the next morning, it takes me minute to register my surroundings. I take a sigh suddenly when I notice that she's not awake. She's in the same dead state she was last night. I didn't expect a change so why am I so disappointed? She has no emotion on her face- no shy smile I used to love waking up to. No face concentrated on pretending to sleep just so I could wake her up the way she'd like me to. 

The guilt is killing me. 

I can't stand to see her here anymore- but when I stand up to leave, my feet take me no where. I sit back down on the chair and only then I realize I'm clutching a thin blanket. I look around the room for a moment. Except for the curtains covering the next bed behind me, the room is filled with colors: flowers of every kind, stuffed animals and some balloons bearing the message, "Get Well Soon!" I let out a sharp breath. Wrong, all wrong. 

None of the flowers were daises, Sydney only like stuffed dogs and I laugh when I try to figure out who was stupid enough to think a balloon would work the miracle she needed. Nobody knew her like I did. A voice in the back of my head speaks, _And nobody but you did this to her._

This wasn't their fault; this was my fault. They cared enough to care if she got well and they cared enough to put a blanket on me and here I was damming them to hell. I take another breath. 

"Doing a lot of breathing there, boy."

I look around me quickly and almost paranoid. "Uh.. Hello?" 

I hear a chuckle before the curtain behind me is pulled aside. "Washington used to make them much more smarter." 

On the adjoining bed is an older man- late seventies I quickly guess. He pulls out a controller to bring his bed to a sitting position, staring at me before speaking again. "You do work for the country, don't you?"

He catches me off guard before I stupidly nod my head. What the hell am I thinking? I don't know this old guy- for all I know he could be a terrorist or something. Or worse, he could have been sent by Jack to get his revenge. The man notices the confusion on my face before I do. 

"Don't worry. If you didn't notice, you're in a government hospital." He looks around. "Oh, and I heard some of your friends talking about you when you were asleep earlier." He winks at me. 

I'm still unsure about this guy so with paranoia still evident on my face, I nod, afraid of making the wrong move. I extend my hand to him. "I'm Michael Vaughn- unless you already know that." 

He lets put a hearty laugh before shaking my hand. "Rick. And no, I didn't know that." I get a little more confidence and I actually sort of smile. "I figured I should introduce myself, seeing it is we'll be spending some time to together." He looks over at Sydney and even though he's more grave, he still has a twinkle in his eye. "Girlfriend?" 

"It's uh.. complicated." I stutter out.

He nods with a knowing look. "If you don't mind me asking, what's stopping you? You care about her enough." 

That's a bit of a loaded question. I start to talk but realize that I don't know what to say. "I _do _love her-"

"But?" Rick looks at me with an expression that reminds me of Jack when he's interrogating someone. He just shakes his head with the grin is back on his face. "Hey, what are you going to answer me for? I'm just some old man you just met." 

"That's not it-" I say quickly.

He cocks his head to the side. "Oh?" 

I clear my throat. "She means everything to me," I say softly. "But I couldn't stop him from hurting her.." 

"Don't blame yourself; it's the biggest mistake." He says gently. "I know it doesn't feel that way. 

"I've lost her once already and I don't know what I'm going to do if she-" 

He's smiling now. "I've been where you are, boy. You love and you lose- it's a part of life. The thing you got to keep in mind is not to lose _the one_." He looks off in the distance. "I lost her about three years ago this month. Beautiful creature- Roselyn."

"Oh- I'm sorry.." 

"Don't be- I had thirty eight wonderful years with her. You only get one person for yourself in a lifetime and she was mine." He reaches out and places a hand on my shoulder. "Do me the favor and don't lose yours." 

Instinctively, I look over at Sydney who's still a million miles away. I could feel Rick watching me over my shoulder. 

"By the looks of it, you found her already." 

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TBC

A/N: Super short, but I had to get it out of the way before the next chapter. Please be a kind soul and give me feedback. And yes, what you say _does_ matter; I changed the direction of the fic because of wonderful reviewers! Pretty please? Review and I'll love you forever 'n ever. ;) 


	4. Regret

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A/N: Even though I didn't get any reviews for the last chapter at FF.net, it only makes me want things to make things better quicker. And it will- in the next chapter. This chapter is a filler but things will get flufferific in the next one. _This_ one though is great in it's own way though. It has all my favorite things: Weiss, Donnovan, Marshall and Shirtless!Vaughn! (Yes, color me shallow.) If only there was a baby, this would be great chapter; but there's the whole Syd in a coma thing that kinda makes that difficult... Anyways, enjoy four out of the five. 

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Archive: Fanfiction.net, COVERme and Allies. Anywhere else, please e-mail me at bubbicup@hotmail. ;) 

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Dedication: Michael Vartan's abs. Lol. Just kidding. :P The nice reviewers at Allies. Muah.. 

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Disclaimer: If I did, scripts would be based on the fanfic of the greats. (The greats being those in my fav. author list.. :P) 

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+Chapter 4: Regret+ 

It's about noon now and the room's silence is almost shattered when Weiss walks into the room. Almost shyly, he knocks on the door. He has a bag of takeout in one hand and places it on a table and sits in the chair next to me. I mumble a hello as he stares at Syd with a grim expression. 

"How is she?" 

I don't answer him but he understands with the shake of my head. 

"How are _you_?" 

I think about my response before I answer him. "I'm good." I say unconvincingly. I know he can see right through me. I don't even know why I try to lie to him anymore. 

"You know, that's the biggest bull I've ever heard." He says laughing lightly but puts on another straight face. He's studying me in a way that almost could be considered analyzing. "Look Mike, don't blame yourself again."

"That's what Rick said too." 

"The dweeb from Tech Ops.? I didn't know he had it in him... Did he program someone to say it or did he hack into Yahoo Personals and e-mail it to you?"

I know this is his sad attempt to cheer me up so I smirk for his benefit. "Rick, you been around any computers lately?" 

"I can't say I have." He calls from behind the curtain. Weiss looks around frantically before Rick sits up in his bed. He looks at Weiss a little coldly. "I'm having a talk with Devlin when I get out of here." 

I smile a little. "_This_ is Rick. He's a little unhappy about the agency since he left it about thirty, forty years ago?" I say lightly. 

I just surprised myself. I told a joke. _Wow. _

All through this conversation, Weiss looks at me hurt, that someone else took his role in life. "I can see I'm not wanted here," He says sadly. I start to say that he should stay but he tells me he has work and he's still in debrief. I don't ask him what for but before he gets up, he takes a book out of his jacket pocket and hands it to me. "Until Syd graces us with her presence..." 

I take the book and thank him genuinely. "Take care of yourself okay?" He call as he gets up to leave. "And call me when- uh.." He trails off but I nod understanding exactly what he means. 

-=-=-=-

Even though nothing has been moved since I was last here, my house looks different. I dreaded coming back here even though I couldn't figure out why. Somehow, Rick convinced me to go home and get some sleep and promised to yell at anyone who stayed too long with Sydney. I find myself smirking at thought of him and Jack. Dixon couldn't get me to go home. Jack couldn't do it and Eric knew well enough to not bother trying. Of all people, Rick was the one who made me feel safe enough to leave Sydney. 

As I turn the key in the keyhole, I immediately hear barking. Suddenly, I remember Donnovan and lock the door again so I can go around through the backyard. As if on cue, Donnovan comes rushing up to greet me, jumping as high as he can reach, which is sadly just above my kneecap. I bend down and let him lick my face smoothing his fur back. After not seeing me for about week, he still forgives me. 

"If only it were that easy." I mummer 

I pull apart from him and go to unlock the back door. I pat my side, beckoning him to follow but he stays back scared. Lauren hated Donnovan and he stayed chained up in the backyard for fear of ruining her beautiful home. He's practically been programmed to stay outside and threatened otherwise. I go over and pick him up with one arm and grab his bowl with the other. I set both of them down on the kitchen tile but even though he's inside, he's still is unconvinced that Lauren won't come after him with a broom. Seeing him like this makes me feel horrible- more than I already feel. I bend down again. 

"Lauren's gone now, Donny. We can go back to the way it used to be." He looks at me, perplexed. "Do you understand, boy?" He responds by licking my hand. 

I get up to look around. In every corner, there's something of Lauren's. Even working for the NSC and moonlighting as an agent for the Covenant didn't stop her from keeping the house spick and span. I reach into the fridge to grab a soda. When I finish it, I put it on the counter. Stepping back to admire my work, a thought goes through my head. 

"Ha. Take _that _Lauren."

Everything looks new to me as I roam around the house aimlessly and stop when I reach our room. I go in and look around and feel as if I'm looking at everything through a different perspective. When I pass her vanity, I take off my ring and fling it onto the surface. _Won't be needing that anymore. _

I can't get my mind off of how stupid I was- giving up on Sydney so quickly and leaving her memory for someone who couldn't even come close to comparing with her. If Sydney could forgive me for all that's happened, that's all I'll need. 

Looking in the mirror I can hardly recognize myself. Syd used to say that I was strong person but I didn't see it in my reflection. I had changed the shirt I was wearing earlier but I could still see the feel Sydney's blood on me. Exasperated, I peel off the shirt throwing it on the ground before undressing and turning on the shower. When I get out, nothing's going to change; the blood will still be on me but I convince myself to try- at least for Sydney. 

Before I come out of the bathroom, I remember to shave, the wistful memory of her protesting once that my stubble hurt her. With a slight smile, I reenter the room I hearing Donnovan padding towards me and by the looks of it, he's overcome his fear. When he gets to me, he starts jumping around like a puppy begging me to play with him. When I shake my head, he doesn't let up so defeated as I am, I make a grab for him and like I predicted he darts away; first behind the dresser and finally under the bed. 

Though I'm tired of this game, I know that he deserves it so I play along. I reach out under the bed where I can see his glowing eyes but being one step ahead of me, he fumbles around trying to get out from under the bed and in the process, knocking over and scattering the few things under the bed. I almost scold him before I realize that it's okay now. 

I grab a flashlight from a drawer and when I bend down to start cleaning up a few things, something catches my eye; a box that I hadn't see in the longest time. It's a simple brown box and since I can't seem to remember the last time I saw it, it's covered with a thin layer of dust. I reach over to pick it up and lie back on the side of the bed to examine it. I blow away some of the dust and only then does it hit me exactly what this box is. 

"Good job, Donny." I say ruffling his fur. After refilling his dish, I grab a jacket and head out the door. 

-=-=-=- 

As I approach Sydney's room, I hear a voice inside, faint and excited. It only takes another moment to realize that it's Marshall. 

"After the purification, this button... Right over.. here, does the rest for you! Now don't get it confused with this button; this button-" He stops when he sees me in the doorway but for once, I actually want to see him explain the strange gadget he has on Sydney's nightstand. 

"Mr. Vaughn! I- uh.. was just leaving.. Don't mind me." He picks up his jacket and stands up.

"You don't to leave Marshall. And I told you to call me Michael."

He looks at me nervously. "I don't think you want me to stick around.. you know especially when-" He trails off. I nod my head as he walks towards the door, avoiding my eyes. I don't let myself try to wonder why this is. 

He stops at the door. "Oh! Rick, that nice gentleman went off for a stroll in courtyard. He told me to tell you." I nod again and there's an awkward silence between us. "So I'll see you at work?" 

I raise my eyebrows a little. "Or not... Bye." He darts out of the room before I can say anything else. 

With the exception of Rick and a few more gifts, nothing in the room has changed. But to me, it doesn't matter much. I sit down on the chair next to the bedside and take Sydney's hand in mine. Taking the box into my lap, my eyes meet with her face. Though it's emotionless, I know that some part of her can hear me. With a trembling hand, I open the lid of the box. 

"Syd.. There's a few things I want to show you..." 

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TBC

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A/N: Gasp! The first cliffhanger of the fic! (I think...) You guy will _love_ the box.. _I_ love the box. Heck, I wanted to write an entire fic about the box! Lol.. If the next chapter isn't up by Saturday, then finally enjoy a new episode and I'll be back on Monday. ;) Oh and the golden rule kiddies? I read, therefore I must review. (I know it's not a rule, shush!)


	5. Understanding

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A/N: :blushes: You guys are sweethearts. :D I got a lot of feedback for that last chapter and if I were to sum it up, it would be "What's in the box??" I'm glad you guys liked the last chap and cared what happened next. Bah! _This _chapter should have been called "Regret." Oh well.. I want to say for the record that this chapter sounded much better in my head and that I dearly hope that what's in the box isn't _too _disappointing. I'm sorry guys, but you have to know your shipper moments pretty good to understand everything, but you do _right_?? 

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Archive: FF.net, Allies and COVERme. I would **love** to have it archived elsewhere and all you have to do is politely ask me. ;) 

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Dedication: All you wonderful readers and reviewers who give me a bunch of praise I honestly don't deserve. You guys rock the heazy forsheazy. LoL. If I could, I would thank you guys all individually and hey! I can do that, and I _will_ do that in the last chapter. 

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Disclaimer: I encountered a few problems so I want to say I own **all** the ideas in my stories unless stated otherwise. If you recognize it, I don't have the rights; JJ and Co. do, along with planning the future of SpyLove. :gulp: 

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+Chapter Five: Understanding+

I look into the box, my hands trembling because I hadn't seen the things in it for so long. "I put together this box up a little after you die- disappeared." I stammer taking another breath. 

"It hurt too much seeing all the things that reminded me of you all around me. I put them all in here; this is our box.." I say smiling. I reach into the box, carefully taking the first thing out. My hand touches a cool object and I place it on the bedside. My dad's watch. 

I sigh before beginning. "When I first got this watch, I didn't understand and the thought of meeting a girl was repulsive to me at the time. Then, girls still had cooties. " I say chuckling softly. "My dad told me I'd understand even though I wasn't that sure if this is what he was talking about." 

"After stopped, I tried stupidly to get new batteries for it. They never lasted more than a few days. It isn't a conspiracy; this is how I knew." A small smile creeps up on my face. I take the watch and put it back on wrist and even though hadn't worn another watch for two years, it felt natural. I look over to Sydney again, eager to share this news when I realize I can't anticipate a response.

"When I lost you, I betrayed my father and most importantly, you. I settled for less when I knew that no one could ever replace you, Syd." I say caressing her face. 

I take the largest thing out of the box next and put it in front of me. I look to Sydney again, looking for some signs of disapproval. "_This_ isn't mine exactly. This is yours." I let my hand smooth over the cool decals. "I gave this to you our first Christmas." I say reminiscing. "You brought it into the office after we got together, even though I was a bit reluctant to take this picture." 

In the antique frame is one of the few pictures that Sydney and I had ever taken. Sydney had come to one of my practices and fallen slipped on the ice when I chased her. Even though I regretted her falling, the sight was hilarious. She pulled me down with her when I offered her my hand before erupting in giggles. Weiss and about half of the team was there and coincidently, he had a camera and was determined to capture the moment because we were "so darn cute." At the time, it seemed more like cherishing the moment of me sprawled on the ice though. 

I know she'd be happy to have this back so I arrange it on the night stand beside the bed, this time not caring _who_ saw it. 

Another thing comes out of the box and this time, it's a key. I smile sheepishly when I remember what it opened. "Remember this?" 

"After that failed date in France, I found this in my jacket pocket and somehow, I wonder what would have happened if we weren't stopped." I pause, thinking. "In a way, I'm happy how things turned out after that though." I grin again, half expecting her to show me that brilliant smile of hers, but she doesn't. I look back into the box and the next thing saddens me a little. It's a napkin and on it is my scrawly writing. 

It was back in Mexico just before Sydney and I came back. At me request, we had gone out to eat and for some reason, she obliged. I had never seen her so distant and I it was the middle of dinner when I realized what could possibly cheer her up. So during dinner, I stopped to make the reservations for the weekend away that could surely do her some good. 

I excused myself and it wasn't that slyly either. In the lobby, I called the hotel when I realized that I had nothing to write down the information on. Running back to the table with my cell phone glued to my ear, I stole one of her napkins and hurried back into the lobby. The bewilderment on her face was so adorable that I couldn't help but kiss her quickly before leaving. 

I let my emotions explain the item as I pull another out of the box. This one is as bad as the last. It's a ring box. I finger it lightly before turning towards Sydney, still in her blissful sleep. It's enough to make me forget everything. 

"This isn't what you think." I say smiling. "I know it's a little high school, but this is a promise ring. I was going to give it to you in Santa Barbara, but.." 

__

But you died. I finish silently. 

"You deserve better Syd; so much better so when we get out of this mess, this is for you." 

I pull another article out; this time from my coat pocket. I open Sydney's hand and place it on her palm, closing her hand gently. It's another ring box, this one showing much less signs of age than the first. 

I let my hand graze her face and I lean towards her, placing a soft kiss on her lips. I pull back reluctantly. I'm still for a moment rubbing the smooth velvet of the box and her hand in turn. "I've wanted to give you this since the day we've met and I just hope that when you wake, you'll forgive me for not giving it to you earlier." 

-=-=-=-

I never wanted to leave but I wasn't going to stay with Jack either. A little while before he came, Eric had come by to check up on me. That wasn't what he said, but that's what it felt like. 

As I space off he takes the opportunity to pour another drink for me. Things are awkwardly silent between us and this was never the case before. I could feel him staring in my direction and I almost lose it. "Would you stop that?" I snap. 

"Hey, I just saved your ass; I'd show a little more gratitude." He says coldly.

"The only thing you did was make me leave the hospital." 

Eric scoffs loudly. "Which coincidently housed Jack Bristow? Did you think he'd never visit her?" He gets up and goes into the kitchen calling back behind him. "If that isn't death, I don't know what is." 

He comes back into the room with a bag of pretzels, taking his seat next to me on the couch. After fishing around under the couch, he throws me the remote. I catch it but put it down, not opting to turn on the TV. 

"I have to face him some time, you know." 

He shifts in his seat, a serious look on his face now. "There's nothing _to_ face. It wasn't your fault."

Leave it to Eric. Not a care in his life except his dog and fish. I wish sometimes that my life were as easy as his. I run hand through my hair. "That's not how Jack is going to see it." 

"If he wants to blame anyone, he can blame that cocky Brit and.." He trails of mumbling something even though I'm certain it's along the lines of "Lauren." 

He must have seen the frustration on my face because he looks over at me again. "Don't go there again, Mike." 

"Go where?" 

"Lauren." He says simply. 

We spent a lot of time on that subject after I told him about her. Back then it was feelings of regret, feelings of "What would Sydney say?" This time the regret is for a whole different reason. Regret that if only I had waited, if only I wasn't so broken, maybe... 

"I'm going back." I say standing up. 

He stands up again, ready to stop me. "I don't think that's such-" I give him The Look and he stops. As I walk to the door, he grabs his own jacket. When he notices that I'm confused, he looks at me aggravated. "If you're going to see Jack, I can at least be there to make sure you can still have an open casket on your funeral."

-=-=-=-

When I enter the hallway, instead of being quiet and deserted, I'm greeted by Jack and for once, he has an emotion on his face that could be mistaken for a smile. He's talking to a doctor outside Sydney's room and like I expected, the doctor is the one who's mostly doing the listening as Jack rants. Before Weiss can stop me, I hurry up to them. 

"What's going on?" 

As soon as Jack sees me, his believed smile fades slightly. The doctor on the other hand extends hand to me when he sees me though. "You must be Michael." He says beaming. "Ms. Bristow has been asking for you." 

I almost stumble trying to comprehend his words. "Sydney's...? She's awake?"

"Of course, son. She's sleeping now but she woke up awhile ago." 

Instead of the happiness I'm suppose to feel, I'm more angry than I've ever been. "Why didn't you call me?" I say harshly looking at Jack.

"The matter doesn't concern you!" He says in a harsh whisper. 

"'The matter-' What do you mean it doesn't concern me?" 

"Please excuse me, Mr. Vaughn, I forgot that you were the one who-"

"How dare you, Jack?!" 

"After all, you-"

Suddenly a new voice enters the argument and stops the both of us as Jack and I look around. 

__

"ENOUGH!" 

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TBC 

A/N: Oh, I'm just so evil. LoL.. Who could it be?? I hope this much longer than usual chapter was enough for you guys to give your carefully planned and blush-worthy feedback. As usual, you don't have to have an account to review, kiddies. Okay seriously though, tell me what you thought and _maybe_ the next chapter will come quicker.. Who knows? Until next time, guys, enjoy tomorrow's episode. -Julina :D


	6. Over the Edge

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A/N: Everyone thought it was Syd! **Serindipity9 **was the only one that had specs on Rick so she gets a brownie point. ;) I thought about doing this in everyone's pov, but Rick in the end made the most sense. Syd is still knocked out and sick, Weiss' ego, can't take it and I even considered other characters. (Ack.. Kendall, annoyed parent on a road trip, and even a janitor!) But I like it like this I think.

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Important Note: The italics are a flashback and the scene is suppose to occur after "A Dark Turn." To refresh your memory, the SpyRents go to try to trick Sloane but in turn it was all set-up. 

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Archive: FF.net, COVERme, and Allies. All else, e-mail me! I would love to see your archive. :D

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Dedication: **Jade **@ xanga who gave me an almost idea, and to **Linz **who blackmailed me but can hopefully catch this before jetting off to that fancy hotel of hers. :P Need I mention all you wonderful readers and reviewers? I heart you. :) 

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Disclaimer: Property of JJ and Co. But if only.. Think of the possibilities! Oh and I _like _interns; Rick doesnt. 

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+Chapter 6 - Over the Edge+

"Enough!"

Naturally, the hard glare in my eyes leave Jacks' and dart to the owner of the voice. More surprise comes to me when I see Rick approaching with a frightened nurse trailing behind him. Weiss quickly scurries to the side to allow him to pass, sensing what's coming. By the looks of it, Rick's seemingly positive personality is starting to rival Jack's. The nurse wheels him over to us. 

"Good lord, do you know people need rest here? My grandkids are more mature than you two!" He says in a low growl. 

Through the entire moment, Jack is unfazed. "I didn't know you were here." He says, in turn allowing him to pass. 

"The hell you didn't, Jack." He says fiercely. He starts to mumble something under his breath. "Same old dictator... pushing around the green ones." 

Even through my complete confusion, I find my voice. "Hey! I'm not-" 

Rick is a step ahead of me and cuts me off sharply. "You might as well be an intern, boy!" 

I'm about to argue back when Jack steps in. "I don't believe this concerns you, Rick." He says firmly. 

At the moment, I don't know who I'm dreading more: Jack who can break my bones with one hand or Rick who, even though is in a wheelchair, makes me nervous standing in the room. I notice the doctor inching away slowly and Weiss giving me a look that tells me exactly what I'm thinking: _He's really done it now. _

Rick on the other hand is silently staring down Jack Bristow. His voice is unnerved as he begins to speak. "I'm going to bed now and you can go on about who loves the girl more, who's the better father or boyfriend and sure as hell not giving a damn about what she's thinking as she hears this. If you two don't care, _I _have to." 

With a flick of his hand, the nurse pushes him back into the room, coming out seconds later and closing the door behind her. She looks over at the two of us nervously and skidderers away. I bring myself to face Jack. The silence only settles the matter. Rick is right; this ongoing feud that we share has to stop. 

"Jack-" 

He cuts me off again. "I don't want to hear it." 

"I want this to stop." I say insist. He doesn't look at me but instead, turns away. "Jack, look... I know you're upset- and I know you blame me." 

Instead of telling me it _wasn't_ my fault, I hear him make a sound that's comparable to a snort. My new found straight tells me to ignore it, and surprisingly, I do. 

"I know you're hurting-" 

For about the fifth time since we first started this conversation, Jack stops me. He has anger in his eyes and his voice comes out as a ragged whisper. "How could you possibly know what it feels like to lose someone you loved?" 

His words are like daggers and so much colder than I've ever heard. He's speaking in a tone I've never heard him use before. He knows this is exactly what can get to me and this is it. Behind me, Weiss starts to interject, but I stop him and turn back to Jack, urging him on. At the moment, I didn't know why I did it. 

Jack isn't holding back anything. I can tell because he doesn't hesitate to start on me. "You don't know what love is." He says simply. "You know comfort, but you don't know love. The second Sydney disappeared, you were weak and selfish because you didn't have it anymore. You married right afterwards because you are weak. Too weak to notice deception and too weak to live life on your own." He's glaring at me and there is a slight pause.

"You don't really love her and she sure as hell doesn't love _you." _

Suddenly, I feel my arm muscle tense, but I strain to ignore it. Eric puts a hand on my arm thinking that I'm going to hit him. "Mike-" 

"No man, he's right." I free myself from Eric's grasp but my eyes never leaves the dark, cold ones on Jack's face. "You win, Jack." I say softly. 

-=-=-=-

__

It didn't matter that SD-6 was gone now, I still never got to spend much more time with Sydney. My feeble attempt to take her out for a simple dinner was shattered by Kendall. The only reason I didn't fight it was because I knew for once, Syd wanted to go into work. 

The last three days were ones of filled with silence, fake smiles and forced moods. She never said it to me out loud, but something in me knew that a small part of her was wondering about the outcome the mission. She's a million miles away, sitting next to me in the car looking pointedly out the window. Gently, I smooth small circles into the hand I'm holding onto. She looks over, a grateful, soft smile on her face. 

"She'll be okay, Syd." 

She doesn't say anything; just nods. After a moment she's back looking out the window at the carnival lights of the Santa Monica Pier. Suddenly, she grabs my arm, urging me to stop and park. For some reason, I don't question it. I take a sharp turn and immediately find a spot near the sand. What could she possibly be up to? It's about sixty degrees out so she couldn't possibly want to go for a swim. 

My judgment fails me though as she unbuckles her seatbelt and hops out of the car. Before I make it to her side, she's started to walk towards the ocean. I scramble to keep up with her; a million thoughts going through my head. She walks further into the water as the tide goes down. 

"Syd! What are you doing? You're going to get wet and-" 

At the precise moment, another wave comes crashing towards her, covering him completely. My first instinct is to worry as I hurry over to her. The tide goes back and I see her sprawled on the sand. Saving my scoldings for later, I rush over to gather her up in my arms when I hear something; laughter. Sydney is laughing. 

She puts her arms around my neck; the silly grin still on her face. "We have to be at the ops. center in an hour and you're soaking-" 

Even though I was worried, her laughter takes it all away. I year ago, I coudn't even dream about her molded so perfectly in my arms and sharing a moment of normalcy. Dripping and covered with sand, Sydney is still more beautiful than I can ever imagine. 

"I can't believed you followed me." She says breathlessly. I'm about to say something when another wave comes toward us. "Vaughn! What are you waiting for?" 

All my senses tell me to get away from the cold, wet blanket that's threatening to cover both of us, but I can't get my feet to move. Sensing this, Syd buries herself into the crook of my neck as I hold her closer, waiting for the wave to crash into us. 

Without my knowing, my laughs join hers when it leaves us in a tangled heap in the sand. Whatever part of me that Sydney didn't get wet, is now. Getting up first, I extend my hand, pulling her up and to me at the same time. I place a soft kiss on her lips, as she murmurs her plans about the next time we do this. She pulls away and I can finally recognize the gleam in her eyes that never fails to make me blush. Putting my arms around her as we walk towards the car, I can feel her smiling as I leave a trail of kisses starting form the bottom of her neck. I place the last kiss on the side of her face as I lean in to whisper my own message into her ear. 

"I'd follow you anywhere, Sydney.

-=-=-=-=- 

Leaving the hospital, I drove aimlessly. One thought was bored into my mind: I couldn't see her. I didn't deserve to. 

I drove here with the hope that some part of Sydney would be here waiting for me but obviously, I'm not meant to enjoy this beach without her. The sea is nothing but small ripples and there is no happiness and laughter filling my ears. Above all else, there is no Sydney to complete me. 

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TBC

A/N: Sniffers.. It'll get better; I promise! Until then, **review**,** review**, **review**. I'll love you forever 'n ever? 


	7. Gossip

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A/N: I've been really stressed lately and this fic's taken a back seat in my crazy joy ride, so I'm sorry if I haven't been updating as quickly. I didn't get a lot of reviews for the last chapter and that's a downer of course and this chapter totally came out of my butt. Don't even ask me where Mallory came from or the whole first section either.. For the record, the fic's almost over and couldn't be more than a few more chapters so have fun guys. (The few that are reading anyway.) 

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Archive: Fanfiction.net, COVERme and Allies. Anywhere else, please e-mail me at bubbicup@hotmail. ;) 

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Dedication: The usual great reviewers. I heart you guys. :D I think you guys are pretty and I like your hair. LoL J/k 

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Disclaimer: Nope but you can get anything on eBay these days. 

+**Chapter 7 - Gossip**+

I'm used to having every eye falling on me as soon as I walk into the room. The whispers and hushed voices are nothing out of the ordinary for me; or to be exact, me and Sydney. Most of the time, the people doing the talking were old maids who had nothing better to do but it wasn't a surprise for people even like Kendall to have jumped into the gossip. 

The first time I noticed was after Sydney removed me as her handler. That creep was reassigned in my place and even though I never really showed it, everyone knew how peeved I was. Afterwards though, Sydney refused to work with anyone except me and got me a nice promotion in the meantime. 

Then it was whispers about our alleged relationship. 

The next time, I think I understand why we were the water cooler talk for about month. Earlier, I had told Sydney about my father's death. After the whole fiasco I would pay to not relieve, the truth came out to everyone and their cousin; Sydney's mom, Irina killed my dad, William. She opened up to me about it but it didn't stop the talk.

Then it was whispers about the strain in our _alleged_ relationship. 

If the big guy upstairs was giving out the opportunity, I'd surely pay to experience the next moment again. The day we hadn't believed would come for years, _did_ come. The systematic take down of each of the twelve SD cells opened up so much for us. There was some truth to their talk- it was inevitable that we would be together.

Finally, it was whispers about our relationship- the _real_ one. 

As I walk into the ops. center after what happened in the storage facility, everyone scurries to look busy and hide the gossip they were engaging in just moments before. The occasional "Did you hear?" or "Well I heard that.." reaches my ears. For once in my career here at the CIA, I care about what they say. Not because I'm afraid of what they think but because I'm just as confused myself. 

When I make the trip over to my desk, I notice a young woman sitting in the chair. Before I begin to yell at the interns who made themselves feel important this way, the girl, (definitely an intern) spins around. She's confused but exhilarated to see me. Stumbling out of my seat, she introduces herself with a tone that's unheard of in the joint task force.

"Mr. Vaughn! I wasn't expecting you so soon! I'm Mallory!" She thrusts a hand at me and I take it hesitantly. Judging by her looks, she's barely out of college and the accent tells me she just moved from New York.

"Uh.. Who are you?"

She takes her hand back suddenly and covers her mouth in shock. "I'm your new assistant!"

"I don't think-"

"Nonsense! Mr. Dixon and Mr. Bristow suggested it and I took the chance as quick as I could. I've heard _so_ much about your work here." 

At first I don't know whether to be flattered or afraid of the dreamy smile she's giving me. I play it safe and nod as I take my chair. Unfortunately, she grabs Weiss' empty chair from his desk and pulls it to the edge of my desk. I ignore her and try to start my work when I realize that everything seems to be moved or misplaced. 

"What happened to-"

"I organized it of course." She pulls out the drawers revealing neat piles and clusters of supplies. 

I nod again, not knowing what to do. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see her waiting patiently. She's not going to win any secretarial awards anytime soon but at lease they picked a hard working one so I decide to save chewing out Dixon and Jack for later. I know they meant well by giving me a secretary but I haven't had one since my work with Sydney began. I lost her afterwards but it didn't seem to make sense since Sydney only added to my workload. Twiddling my pen, I refuse to let myself go back to thinking about the past week. 

"Do you watch the Kings, Mr. Vaughn?" I look at my pen and realize what she's talking about. Could she possibly be worth my time? 

"Yeah. Do you have a team?"

She ready to gush now. "God, yes! I _love _baseball! The Mets could still kick your guys' butts though _any day_." 

I plaster a fake smile on my face and nod. With I sigh, I turn back to the pile at the corner of my desk not being able to concentrate because of the one thing I'm trying not to concentrate on. Mallory's becoming restless and I don't see the point of an assistant if she doesn't _assist _me. She lets out another loud sigh. 

"Is something the matter, Mallory?" I say abruptly.

She looks up from her nails. "Hmm? Oh it's nothing. Really." 

I look back to the first paper in the pile and turn on my computer when I hear another sigh. 

"Are you sure?" I say looking at her, now slightly peeved.

She looks up again. "Do you believe in fate?" 

I snort. This isn't exactly the kind of question that I should be asked. 

"No." 

"Why not!?" 

Another loaded question. But remain silent.

"Oh Mr. Vaughn.. haven't you even been in love?" She has that dreamy smile on her face again. 

Before I catch myself, I answer her quickly. "Love is a joke."

"Aren't you married? In the file I got-"

"No." I answer I again quickly. 

She gets a big smile on her face and I start to feel uneasy. "Girlfriend?"

Before I answer her though, over her shoulder, I see Dixon coming out clearly unhappy that I'm here. "Mallory, why don't you go get me a coffee?" I say gently. Apparently it pleases her because she leaves me alone with Dixon as he comes up to my desk. 

"Vaughn you have a whole-" 

I cut him off curtly. "I didn't need that extra time."

He motions me away from the crowd staring at us and into his office. He goes around the desk and sits down after offering the chair to me. I sit down already knowing what is ahead of me. 

He starts off out of the blue. "How's Sydney doing?" 

"She woke up yesterday." I say softly. 

The shock consumes his face. "She-" He stops for a moment to think. "Vaughn. what are you doing here?" 

"I work here." A sarcastic tone clouds my voice and I hardly recognize it. "Even though I didn't do that great of a job in the intelligence department, I still need to be here to get fired." 

There's a vein at the side of his head that is waiting to burst and only then do I realize that I've pushed it a little too far. When he speaks again though, his voice is calm. "You'll have your debrief when you're scheduled to come back next week."

"Great. I have a lot to say about that bitch." I say looking at my lap. 

"Vaughn," He asks for a third time, "what are you doing here? Don't you want to be with her? With Sydney?" 

A harsh laugh comes from me unexpectedly. "Gossip is fickle." I murmur. 

"Do this for her, Michael." He says suddenly

I look up at the sound of my first name. My eyes meet the kindness in Dixon's eyes- the one's that I recognized from before Sydney disappeared. With a wry smile, he continues. "Don't worry what Jack says. Do it for Sydney." 

-=-=-=-=-

For the trillionth time this week, I pull into the hospital parking lot. I'm convinced that I should have more insight as to what I'm about to do but after acting on advice for quite a while, I'm ready to make this one decision myself. I turn the door handle and step out of the car and into the hospital. To my surprise, a nurse stops me and directs me to another room telling me Sydney has been taken out of intensive care. Though I don't understand how she would know me at all, I thank her and head up the stairs to her new room. 

While I'm still down the hall, I hear Sydney's voice and my breath catches in my throat. Before I begin to question who she's talking to, I hear the dulcet tones of Jack Bristow. The fear and ambiguity over me, I move to enter the room when I catch a part of their conversation. 

"I wasn't your place, Dad." Sydney says her voice straining. 

There's a slight pause. "No, it wasn't." 

Could they be talking about..? I move just outside the door, careful not to get too close to the doorway. I hear Jack continuing. 

"I was scared, honey. You mean everything to me." Another pause. "But you mean everything to him too." 

There's an eerie silence and I'm almost afraid to even think before I hear Sydney murmuring in agreement. "I was afraid of losing you and I didn't realize that I already lost you to him so long ago."

"Dad, you didn't-"

"The better man won don't you think?" I hear Sydney sighing. "He has my respect. After I attacked him like that, he has it." A pause. "No one is ever going to be good enough for you, Sydney. At least not in my eyes. But now that I think about it, I think that-" Another long pause. I'm eager to hear what he has to say next and I'm not even certain that he's talking about me. 

"Perhaps he can tell you. Mr. Vaughn, would you like to join us?" 

The first thought that goes through my head is, "_What??" _ My brain somehow gets my body to function again. Timidly I step to the side so now both Jack and Sydney can see me in the newly decorated room. Sydney has a look of bewilderment on her face while Jack, not surprisingly is completely cool.

He stands up and clears his throat again. "Perhaps I should be leaving. I'll see you in the morning, sweetheart." He says leaning over to kiss her forehead.

Sydney nods as Jack walks towards me. I'm dumbfounded when I realize I'm standing in the doorway _and_ in his way. I move aside quickly and let him pass. As he walks pass me though, I hear a faint, _"Good luck_._"_

I turn to Sydney and face the moment I've been dreading and looking forward to since I found out about Lauren. I take a hesitant step forward and in a wavering voice, I begin the talk that suppose to change everything. 

"Um.. Hi..." 

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TBC 

A/N: Hee. I had to end it on a slightly happy/funny note. So did ya like it? The lurve is coming to computer near you soon.. Chapter will come much faster if I get more reviews. They're the spinach to my Popeye! You wouldn't want to be a Brutus would you? 


	8. First Cut

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A/N: Long awaited, (well at least by about eight people anyway) chapter of this ficie is finally here! As **largemarge416** put it, it's finally time for **The Talk**. (Yes, it's in caps.) I apologize to those who enjoy this fic and wanted to know why the fuzzy I didn't update for so long. Can we hug and make it better? I mainly wanted to avoid the inevitable fluff in this chap because I was kinda down cause of some loser. I wrote another fic, (_One Step Back_, link's in my profile) and made myself feel a little better. When I sat down to write this it was all kinds of crappy but the loser and I talked and let's just say he isn't a loser anymore... ;) I dunno what to do to make it up to you guys, but since **Savvy** gave me a cookie and me feel all nice and fuzzy, I'm giving you all cookies too. :puts cookies down and leaves the room bowing: 

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Archive: FF.net, COVERme, French Mafia and Allies. Ask and you shall receive. 

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Dedication: **Ms. Vaughn**, (someone actually reads them! gasp!) **The old gang**, (You know who you are and I heart you more than words can say.. I heart you more than MV even! And _that's_ a lot.) an the **new reviewers **that came in in the last chapter, (glad you lurve it and you're more than welcome to review as often as you like..) I loved each and every piece of feedback this much: [stretches out arms] **Lurkers**, (giving this a fic a chance is great of you even though you if don't review. Naughty!) I do this for you guys. 

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Soundtrack: I don't usually listen to her but, "The First Cut is the Deepest" by Sheryl Crow. Pretty song and great description of what's going on. If this were in Syd's POV, it would be _perfect. _

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Disclaimer: I don't own _Alias_, but _Alias_ owns me- or at least the marketing department and MV do. :P

+**Chp. 8 - First Cut**+

At this point, I am all but too confused. The last time we talked, I was convinced that I was on my way to the big CIA headquarters in the sky and now he was acting as if we actually knew one another. Before today, I didn't know Jack was capable of human emotion. With another wry smile directed towards me, I watch Jack turn his back on us and left the room and for the first time in a while, I wanted to go ahead and leave with him.

It's really saying something if I choose time with Jack Bristow over- well, anything. This was the moment I had waited for with the utmost eagerness and yet it was a moment I dreaded more than anything. Somehow, I will myself to turn around and I don't know what I'm expecting. I'd seen Sydney a few days ago but somehow, I sensed this was different. My breath catches in my throat when I finally see Sydney though. 

I expected her to be angry. I expected structural damage, impotency, but not this, because when I turn around, to my surprise, she has the most amazing grin on her face; one I hardly recognized. She hadn't smiled like this since that night in front of her apartment. Despite my own efforts, a small smile creeps up on my own face and suddenly, I feel sixteen again. 

"Hey." she says softly.

"Hey." 

If it wasn't official, it is now. 

She looks at me curiously and it take all my strength to not turn and run away from confrontation such as this. I take Jack's empty seat beside her bed, careful to scoot as far away as possible without her knowing. To my surprise, she doesn't seem to notice it, instead she is turned the other way to her nightstand, reaching to grab something. The picture frame. Another pimple pops up on my nose. 

She smiles again, running her fingers over the smooth surface. "Remember this?" I nod, almost blushing. "You were such a dictator and we couldn't let it get to your head that you actually had power.." she says laughing softly. 

When I don't react, she continues to speak. "Seeing it is I didn't have much to do, I was looking over some things people brought." 

By impulse, my eyes widen when I realize what she's talking about. The ring box. "Syd-"

"My dad told me what happened; or rather 'filled me in.'" 

"How does Jack-?"

"I yelled at him for a couple of hours but apparently that's not a good idea with a tube jammed down your throat." 

I have no clue what the hell she's talking about.. Am I suppose to? She notices the confusion on my face. "Vaughn.. It's not your fault." 

Oh. _That's_ what she's talking about. 

"I don't think we should get into that right now; you're tired and need you're sleep, Syd." 

She shakes her head smiling. "Always taking care of me... When was the last time _you_ slept?" Before I have a chance to talk, she cuts me off again. "I had a chat with Eric too." She pauses to look at me, "I think we should talk about some things."

I look down into my lap. "There's nothing to talk about." I mumble. 

"I think we have a lot to talk about." Pause. "I know you blame yourself, Vaughn."

I want to scream something along the lines of, "Duh!" but I don't. I can't bring myself to meet her eyes again. I can feel her strong gaze despite it. 

"See? Nothing to talk about." I say a sarcastic smile on my face. When she doesn't return my sentiments, I grow serious again. "I screwed up so much this time. I was ignorant and it almost got you killed- your dad was right."

"You saved my life." she in another soft voice. 

When I don't answer her she reaches over and takes my hand. A sudden warmth shoots out throughout my body and it takes all my will power to not take it back. The first real, (conscious) Sydney-Michael moment in two years isn't suppose to be like this. Thinking of doing this in the past set me on week-long guilt trips but it never stopped me from dreaming. Knowing all about the _real_ Lauren makes that guilt a waste of what could have been a week of bliss. 

There's a new kind of guilt now, and it's all Sydney. 

"Do you know how often my dad's right?" I open my mouth to counter but she stops me gently. "_Really _right. No one can truly judge this situation except us: you and me."

"I knew the truth all along, Vaughn- there were doubts, yes; but no matter the obstacle, I knew what we had can't- It can't just end."

"It never will, Syd." I say softly. "You're so amazing," I say. I let my other hand caress her face lightly as traces of a smile line her lips. "But God, you deserve so much more..." 

I look up and meet her eyes for the first time in the conversation and those soft brown eyes tell me she wants to protest, but I continue. "Back when I was your handler, I walked on eggshells trying to protect you. I think I've threatened and hurt more people in that time period than I have in my whole life put together." 

For the light humor, I receive a small smile and for a moment, I almost forget where I'm going with this. 

"I didn't matter though. The one thing I couldn't possibly keep you from was myself. _I_ put you into those dangers and now this..." I said indicating to the bed.

She answers in another soft voice, "I don't want to be kept from you." 

A moment after she says this, I realize what she means by this and quickly shake my head. "After all this, how could you-?" 

When I look over to her, she doesn't meet my eye. Instead she finds an interesting spot on her blanket to stare at while I trial off. Almost a minute passes before she speaks in a tone that is, to my surprise, neither angry or strained. "What do you think about pre-destination?"

I'm taken aback for a moment, unsure of the sudden change in topic. "What do you mean? Like you're meant to be something in life?" 

"I read about that for a paper once. I don't believe in that." I look at her confused again, waiting for her to expand. "I think fate is a better theory- some things need to happen in order for other events to occur." 

I felt myself smile. "So when does reality start and fate end?" 

She has a genuine smile on her face now as she takes my hand and brings is to her face. She leaves a delicate kiss on my fingers. 

"It doesn't." 

-=-=-=-=-

Weiss threw another chip at me, trying to get me to pay attention. In return, I threw him a dirty glance. What was he, five? His table manners weren't better. 

"Then?" 

"Then that's it." I say confused. What more does he want? A Broadway Musical?.

"C'mon, you _got_ to give me more than that." 

"But that's all that happened!"

"What about Jack?" 

I was starting to get frustrated with all of these questions. "We skipped and lived happily ever after." I said mumbling. 

"He actually admitted to being wrong?" 

"Sydney's very convincing."

"Not to mention scary as hell..." He retorts. When I shoot him a dark look, he raises his hands up in retreat. "I call 'em like I see 'em." Just when I think we're about to go into silence, he speaks again. 

"That's really all you have to say about your father-in-law?" He says with a smile.

"He's _not_ father-in-law." I say flatly. 

Eric's smile now rivals the Cheshire Cat's. "But you _want _him to be."

"No I want what comes _before_ he becomes my father-in-law." I say mischievously. 

He laughs heartily. Though Weiss wasn't my choice companion, I'd have to admit he's been supportive through these past few weeks- That and I'd prefer him to Mallory. My "assistant" had been running in and out of the room, running Eric's errands and carrying out his orders. He complains that it's hardly fair that I get an assistant and for some reason is confused as to why his request for another secretary didn't come through yet. 

My desk phone rings and I quickly pick it up making sure Mallory doesn't have chance to come in and try her new and improved greeting speech. 

"Vaughn."

"It's me," the voice on the other line says. 

Ah, Jack Bristow. _In the flesh. _

I guess you can call an unspoken truce. Since that day in Sydney's room three days ago, Jack has been treating me with more respect than usual. I rather not question why; all I know he accepts that we're in this together because of Sydney.

"I thought I should let you know that Sydney's release time got moved up to six." 

I nod and make a mental note. "I'll be there around five." An awkward pause. "Uh.. See you Jack."

"Of course." 

This is still all too new for me. I hang up the phone as quickly as I picked it up. When I look up from my sandwich, Weiss greets me with a big stupid grin. I raise my eyebrows, wondering what was so amusing. 

"You guys are bonding already.." 

****

A/N: Aww.. You gotta love that Weiss. :D The end is near! (Because so are my AP tests and SAT's) Sniff.. I gonna miss you guys! Review like crazy and tell me what you thought about The Talk, Vack, our teddy bear or anything... Then go to my profile, click on _One Step Back_ and read and review that like crazy. I don't ask for _much_... LoL :P 

Here's the lyrics for "The First Cut is the Deepest" in case you haven't heard it. Download this! (Legally of course..) 

__

I would have given you all of my heart  
but there's someone who's torn it apart  
and she's taking almost all that I've got  
but if you want, I'll try to love again  
baby I'll try to love again but I know  
  
The first cut is the deepest, baby I know  
The first cut is the deepest  
'cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed  
when it comes to lovin' me she's worst  
but when it comes to being loved she's first  
that's how I know  
  
The first cut is the deepest, baby I know  
The first cut is the deepest  
  
I still want you by my side  
just to help me dry the tears that I've cried  
cause I'm sure gonna give you a try  
and if you want, I'll try to love again  
but baby, I'll try to love again, but I know  
  
The first cut is the deepest, baby I know  
The first cut is the deepest  
  
'Cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed  
when it comes to lovin' me she's worst  
but when it comes to being loved she's first  
that's how I know  
  
The first cut is the deepest, baby I know  
The first cut is the deepest  



	9. Back in Place

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A/N: Well This chapter' a little longer than usual. (2588 words) I wanted to end in a nice round even number so I had to get a few things out of the way; that and because it'll be another week before I can update again and I feel guilty. =( I usually write these chapters on weekends but next weekend, my friends are making me go celebrate my birthday. (Bleh..) Isn't seeing _13 Going On 30 _enough? Apparently not and god, I feel old. I have to say I didn't intentionally make that assumption abut _Pearl Harbor _until I sat down to write this. I used _Pearl Harbor_ cause I like _Pearl Harbor_; I never realized that- well you'll see. And yes, I'm just gonna pretend Lauren fell off the face of the planet.. don't like it? **TOUGH**. LoL Just kidding... :p 

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Archive: Allies, COVERme, FF.net and in time, OPR and French Mafia. Ask, me I'd love to see your archive!

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Dedication: All the great reviewers.. I can't name you all; (but I will in the last chap) but you make me smile and not feel so old. 

****

Disclaimer: Well, my birthday _is_ this Friday.. :wink wink: :nudge nudge: (Who am I kidding? No I don't own it..) 

+**Chp. 9 - Back in Place**+

There were only ten minutes until six and I'm anything but close to being done and on my way to the hospital. The fault mostly lands on Weiss who spoke to me in a sing-song voice all day after Jack's call, but even he left about an hour ago. My new problem is Mallory who's trailing me with a clipboard as I try to put my files away so I can leave this madhouse. 

"Where should I order them?" she says walking behind me. 

"Anywhere you want." 

"What kind did you say again?"

"Baby's breath."

"And on the card?"

"Doesn't matter."

"How will your wife know-?"

At this point, I'm beyond frustration. I compose a smile on my face before I turn around dangerously. I've had a mantra in my head the entire day: _She's just a kid.. She's just a kid..._

"Mallory, why don't _I_ order the flowers myself?"

She sticks out her bottom lip and it takes me a moment to realize she's pouting. "Then I won't have anything to do!" She whines.

I raise an eyebrow and think for a moment. "How do you like Eric?"

She looks at me a little confused. "Well, he's funny I guess.."

Another sigh. "Not like that, Mallory."

"Oh! He's nice!"

"Great. You're his new assistant."

She pauses to think about this for a moment. "You can do that?" She says looking at me curiously.

"Weiss looks like he needs a lot of help these days-" I say trailing off, turning to walk again. 

After a moment, she starts walking again, hurrying to catch up with me. "You really think so?"

"I _know_ so." I say grinning.

Problem solved. 

-=-=-=-=-

Luck's on my side when the freeway gods decide they like me today. I get to the hospital only a few minutes late but as I open the door to the front lobby, I see a nurse wheeling Syd out of the elevator. Jack is behind them with a stern look on his face. 

"Uh- Sorry I'm late.." I say meekly.

Jack's face doesn't change but Syd is trying hard to hold back a laugh. I walk over to them as they stop at the desk. "Not funny.." I mumble leaning in to Syd's ear. 

Fortunately, Jack and the nurse don't hear me. The nurse is signing some last papers and talking to Jack. To his credit, Jack is taking our new arrangement better than I expected. He looks up from the papers to speak to me. 

"There are a few things still in the room." 

I nod, and leave taking to familiar route back up to Sydney's room. When I look into the room, I realize it was the understatement of the century. _Everything _is still in the room and nothing has changed from the last time I saw it; there's flowers still in vases all over the room, stuffed animals, balloons- everything. With I sigh, I start gathering everything into my arms. Maybe this thing with Jack isn't going to be so great. 

Surprisingly, I manage to make only one trip but successfully block out the hope of ever seeing where I'm going. I walk in the direction that I know the elevator is and try to feel my way to the buttons. 

"Do you need any help, sir?"

I turn around and whole-heartedly thank the candy stripper behind me. I hand over a few of my burdens and I'm actually able to call an elevator. When we get down to the lobby again, Jack looks at the girl and tells her to please put the things in my car.

Okay, well maybe I was wrong about Jack. Or maybe he thinks I'm on my way to the dump with all of Sydney's things. 

I get out to my car and with the help of the girl, I get all the things into my trunk. Thanking her, I move to head back to the hospital. The nurse, Jack and Sydney meet me halfway as they too head to my car. Confusion should be my look today. 

"What's going on, Jack?"

"I need to get back to the office and I didn't think you would mind driving Sydney home."

I shake my head, a goofy smile on my face. 

"Despite what her protests," the nurse says looking at Sydney with a smile, "Sydney's going to need a little help for a while."

"I'll do it." I immediately say.

"That was the idea, Vaughn." Sydney says gently. 

I nod again, giving Syd a shy smile as we turn around and walk back to my car. I open the car and help her out of the wheelchair and into the passenger seat. 

"Well, it looks like you're all set. Call me if there are any questions." The nurse says smiling at us before turning to leave. 

There's an eerie silence as I lean against the open door. Jack of course, brushes it off. "I better be getting back." Pause. "Get rest, sweetheart." He says to Sydney before closing the car door. 

As I turn to get into the driver's seat but Jack stops me in the back of the car. "Vaughn?"

I turn around. "Yeah?"

In the most sincere voice I've ever heard from him, he addresses me. "Take good care of her."

I nod again, opening the car door and finally turning to Syd. A brilliant smile on her face, she greets me in the way we've grown used to in the past few days. "Hey."

"Hey." I say returning her smile. Fishing my car keys out of my pocket again, I look over to her again. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah." She says wistfully. 

-=-=-=-=-

On our car ride to her house, it almost feels like old times again, us chattering away about the most mundane things: anything from Donnovan to the weather to Weiss to music. Not once does the subject of Lauren come up and I'm happy with it staying that way. 

"So now Mallory is _Eric's_ assistant."

"Poor Eric.. I wonder how Weiss' fish are doing.." She says suddenly out of the blue. 

I laugh at how random the topic is. "They're having fun with Donnovan and my non-existent fish."

"You actually trust Eric with your dog? Why do you think I'm asking? He's over at my place all the time and his poor fish are alone. They would be carted off by PETA if hadn't been for me! "

"Hey, I know him as well as you do." I say smiling. I pause for a moment. "I'm actually staying with him until I get a new apartment." 

I don't need to look over to Syd to know that she's not laughing anymore. "Oh.." 

There's a silence in the car as I continue driving. "It's not really a big deal. I just- I didn't want to stay there anymore." I say brushing it off. 

"Stay with me then." She says, a soft smile on her lips. 

I'm a little shocked about how forward she is about this. "Syd- I don't know..."

She nods and we continue driving in silence. I can't help but notice that the smile doesn't leave her face though. 

__

-=-=-=-=-

"You have too many friends, Syd." 

"I'll remember to break ties with them before I get shot again." She says grinning mischievously. 

"Very funny." 

I pull another bag of groceries out of the trunk and hand some more flowers to Syd. Before we went came here, we went to the movie rentals and the store and even though it's first time in two years, shopping with Sydney seems like the most normal thing in the world. 

"Where's Eric and why isn't he helping?"

I shrug and throw her grin as I follow her up the steps to her porch. "Maybe he's feeding his fish..?"

Syd laughs. "Fat chance. More like watching TV and eating popcorn." She says juggling her load to open the door with her foot. 

When we get inside, Weiss on Syd's couch surprises me more than what he's doing. Sure enough, he's watching a movie but eating ice cream. 

"You're a prophet, Syd." I mumble laughing. Eric looks up at the door when we enter. "How's about some help here?"

"SYD!!" He abandons his ice cream and comes over, pulling Sydney into a hug, making her drop all her things. I sigh loudly and roll my eyes as I take the bags to where I assume the kitchen is. 

"Get over it, Mike. I'm not moving in on your girl!" He calls from the living room. I hear a loud slap and Eric whimpering in pain, prompting me to laugh again. "Geez.. for someone cooped up for hospital for a month, you sure can hit hard, Bristow." 

After a moment, he comes into the kitchen, the rest of the bags in his arms. "You're _suppose_ to be on my side, _remember_?"

I only laugh in response. "You deserved it; Order the pizza, moron."

He mumbles something under his breath, but does it. I leave a few things out as I start on Syd's dinner. I was never a great cook, but this was my time to shine. 

-=-=-=-=-

"Soup?" She says looking at the bowl sadly. "I've eaten hospital food for a month... How come you guys get pizza, and I get _soup_?"

"Cause Mike spent three whole minutes opening the can and heating up just for you." Weiss says beaming. He pauses. "And cause we're sexist pigs who feel you are unworthy of pizza." 

I'm not surprised when he gets a jab in the stomach. 

"Vaughn...?" She says miserably. She sticks out her bottom lip like Mallory did this morning and whimpers. "I don't want soup; I want pizza."

"Syd, you just got out of the hospital-"

"And you have a hole in your stomach." Weiss points out. 

She ignores him and directs her attention towards me, giving me the puppy dog eyes that I could never resist and probably never will. "Please?"

I finally give up and take the soup back, putting it onto the coffee table. Sydney claps her hands happily like a little girl and I can't help but laugh a little when she grabs Eric's empty plate and puts a slice of pizza on it.

Weiss looks at me betrayed and dejected. "Dude, you are _sooo_ whipped." 

-=-=-=-=- 

Four hours and two movies later, my eyes are beginning to droop, but Syd who's sitting on my left, isn't fazed- just happy that she's finally out of the hospital. 

"That guy's an idiot. Why is he raising a kid that his best friend had while his wife was cheating on him?" Weiss says as the credits roll. 

"You're so insensitive." I say mockingly. 

"He always loved her and she _did _believe he was dead; his plane was shot down. She had to move on someday-" Syd said trailing off suddenly. 

"Christ, you guys have your own blockbuster movie.." Weiss said in awe. It took me moment to realize what they were talking about. Syd starts to blush furiously. "Well then.. I've made the moment awkward enough for today.. You coming?" He says meeting my eyes. 

"I'll be there later on." I say laughing at how seriously Syd is taking this. 

"_Right_." He says giving me a knowing look. "Make me some good-looking nieces and nephews tonight, you two!" He calls, shutting the door behind him. 

I'm mortified, but Syd only laughs. "You should see the look on your face..."

"Hey! I'm not the one who thought Ben Affleck and Kate Beckinsale immobilized her life!" I say picking up trash and putting it into the pizza box. 

"Just for that, I'm making you clean up yourself." She sticks out her tongue and sprints into the bathroom before I can catch her. 

-=-=-=-=-

A few minutes later, I manage to get the living room to a decent level of clean. Grabbing my jacket, I go over to the bathroom, knocking on the door softly. "Syd?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm going to get going, alright?" I smile involuntarily. By the sound of it, she's having a bubble bath. 

There's a pause before she speaks again. "Come in here,"

For a second I don't move. It's not that I've never seen her naked before- I have. What she's asking me to do is something we used to do way back when we were still together. Behind the door, I hear water sloshing around as I try to block my mind from imagining her getting out of the tub. A moment passes and she opens the door, clad in a bath robe. Her skin and face is pink from the heat of the bathroom. The familiar scent that I can only describe as Sydney is thick in the air. 

"I don't have cooties, you know." She says, a grin on her face. 

"I-I know." I stammer. 

Sydney smiles and notices the jacket in other hand. "So you said you were leaving?" I nod, but I don't know if I can _get _myself to after this. "Do you have keys to Eric's? He's probably knocked out already."

"I don't have them with me..." 

"Then spend the night with me." She answers happily. 

I'm concentrating on the amazing smile she's giving me instead of what she's suggesting. After a moment of stupid smiles, I snap out of it. "I'm not sure if that's a great idea, Syd." 

"We're mature adults; we can control ourselves." She says, refusing to take no for an answer. I forced to follow her to her linen closet where she begins taking out the things I'll need for tonight. 

__

Sure, speak for yourself. 

-=-=-=-=-

She might have gotten me to stay with her tonight, but she could get me to stay _with_ her. Sleeping in the same bed would lead the situation into something I'm not sure we're ready for. 

So because of my chivalry and belief in what's just, I'm on the couch. 

Thoughts about our not so new relationship keep me awake. I would never complain but I want to savor things with her for once. The first time we got together, it was frenzied and rushed, but never the less, full of love. This time, I want to remember every moment, and I sure as hell don't want to screw it up. 

I pull off the covers, sitting up and giving in to my insomnia. I thank my conscience for telling me to change before we started our little movie night. I hadn't put everything back into my pockets but I fish into the shorts lying beside me anyway, knowing what I'm looking for is there. 

A diamond looks more beautiful in the moonlight, but Sydney's looks radiant. I finger the little piece of metal and gem and wonder how such a little thing could mean so much. A ring means a new life, a family and above all love with the woman I can't stand to live without any longer. 

I hear a rustle coming from Sydney's bedroom and then after a moment, footsteps. A quickly put the ring back into it's box and into my pocket again. Lying back down again, I pull the covers over my head. 

The footsteps grow louder until they stop. I feel a warm body lie down and cuddle up next to me. I turn around and gladly pull an arm around her as Sydney buries her face into my bare chest. her breaths slowly becoming even after a moment. 

Just like old times.

Maybe things will be okay after all. 

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A/N: Finally! The fluff I wrote this fic for.. I feel all fuzzy now.. :P So didja like? Tell me what you thought, guys; you _know_ you wanna. You love reviewing as much as I love getting them.. Don't fight it! 

I sounded like a drug dealer there, huh?

Well back in sober land, I'm asking you to please review.. better? :D 


	10. Hit and Miss

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A/N: Okay, before I say anything, this chapter is 3426 words and six pages in 7 pt. Verdana- Not including the notes, just the story itself! Before you decide to throw darts at my picture, please hear me out.. =( I sure you guys remember my note a couple chapters ago saying that I would end the story soon because of my tests. I _really _didn't feel like giving up this fic and letting my un-used fic ideas go to waste so I held this fic off for that unfair time period. All my tests ended this week with only finals to worry about, I can finally concentrate on this fic meant to please my wonderful, understanding readers. =D (Is my flattery working?) On to the unbelievably cheesy fluff! Also a note, italic scenes are flashbacks. ;)

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Archive: COVERme, FF.net and Allies. Others, please e-mail me cause I lurve sharing. =)

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Dedication: I should re-name this reviewer-love cause I seriously do not deserve all your praise. I want to thank all of you guys that wished me a happy birthday and those of you still reading despite my lack of updates. I'm not playing favorites, but those of you that remembered the you-know-what, just keep it in mind.. Also did you guys know that Alias, cookies and a doughnut from you guys for my birthday? LoL.. There are really no words to describe how much I heart all you guys.

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Disclaimer: Property of JJ and his homies as usual. I would be far more richer if I did.

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Chapter 10 - Hit and Miss 

When I wake up hours later, I can't help but smile. It only takes a moment to realize that I'm not on Eric's couch and that while it may sound cheesy, I'm not sleeping alone.

I'll never get tired of how innocent Sydney looks when she sleeps. Her breathing coming out in soft breaths as her chest rises slightly every moment or so, and despite her slumber, she has a small smile playing on her face. I pull a strand of hair from her face and take a moment to marvel at what I feel is the most beautiful woman on earth. A woman so compassionate and forgiving that even she would even put behind the fiasco that got us here in the first place.

Taking the moment in stride, I shift slightly so I can bend down and kiss her forehead. I can't resist but I almost panic when she stirs slightly but she only buries her face deeper in my chest. Another smile overcomes my face. Through this entire mess, finding that Syd sleeps the same way gives me some sort of comfort. Though I'm enjoying this moment, I know that sleeping here on the cramped couch can't be any good for her; in this condition anyway.

Slipping out from under her with the greatest of care, I'm both delighted and saddened that she didn't notice the lost of my presence. I brush it off with another grin to myself and pick her up with equal care. I find the way to her bedroom opening the door with my foot. What doesn't surprised me it that Sydney's perfectly made bed is otherwise untouched. After putting her in the bed, I give her another soft kiss on the forehead before closing the door quietly behind me.

Passing the couch, I grab my shirt and reluctantly pull it on. A quick glance at the clock tells me that it's only around 6:30. Knowing that she'll be up any time now, I head to the kitchen pulling open the refrigerator door.

-=-=-=-=-=-

"I feel hung-over.. Did you spike my tea last night-"

She has a look of surprise on her face when she comes into the kitchen. I have to say I out-did myself but I don't think that it garnered her reaction.

"Morning." I say chuckling.

Dishing up some scrambled eggs from the skillet, I put the rest of the waffles on the table. I had originally planned to bring her breakfast but it never seemed to work out the way that I wanted to. Sydney however wasn't any less surprised. She came over to me peering over my shoulder as I put the skillet in the sink.

"You made breakfast?"

I look over to her pretending to be confused. "You mean this isn't filet minion?"

It didn't work.

"Vaughn-" She said a little more serious.

"What? You sound so surprised.. I mean I _can_ cook a couple of things; you know that."

"But you're the guest, _I'm_ suppose to be cooking for you." she protests

"No, I'm hear to aid your speedy recuperation. But if you really want to cook, I can always throw these away" I say trailing off. To aid my threat, lift the skillet off the fire into the direction of the garbage can.

"No!" She screams. "I've missed your eggs!" She says more softly rushing over to the eggs in horror. Though it's a small thing, I find myself blushing slightly when I noticed the meaning behind what she had said.

The idea was useless but I still wanted my original plan to go through. "Why are you out of bed?"

"Cause my pounding head woke me up." She says painfully. After a moment she adds, "Along with the disorientation."

I don't turn around but instead turn back to the refrigerator, choosing between tow cartons of juice. "Apple, right?"

She nods and looks at me with another soft smile. If a simple thing like remembering she preferred apple to orange juice for breakfast was going to get me that brilliant smile of hers, I had a few more things up my sleeve.

"Syd- bed rest."

She finally looks over with a look of defeat. "You'll bring the eggs?" She says sticking out her bottom lip.

"I'll bring the eggs." I assured her.

She turns at my promise and heads back to bed triumphantly and before I can stop it, I stifled a laugh,

-=-=-=-=-

When I get back to her room ten minutes later, she's sitting up and on the phone, most likely checking her voicemail. With a smile, she ends the call when I enter the room.

"That was Mitchell, wishing me a quick recovery- Or at least that's what Marshall says he said."

I stop at the doorway. "He's so polite already, that boy." I say grinning. "Anything else?"

"We don't have to play hooky."

Her sentence catches me off guard and almost causes me to drop the tray. "What?"

"Work." she says curiously. "Dixon and my dad worked it out- we're both unofficially on vacation for three weeks."

"Oh." I said sitting on the side of her bed with the tray.

When she sees the tray in my hands, she only smiles more. "You didn't have to do this, you know."

"I wanted to." I insist.

Taking the a fork into her and she digs into the eggs first- not a surprise. "This tastes so much better than the power bars I eat everyday. God, I haven't had a home cooked breakfast since-"

She stops suddenly when I realize what she's talking about. It's her turn to blush when I find myself replaying the last time in my head.

-=-=-=-=-=-

__

As I flip over another egg, Syd looks over my shoulder balancing on her toes. "Syd- they're almost done. It'll only be another two minutes. You can't be that _hungry."_

"For Vaughn's Famous Eggs, I'm always hungry." She tries to say seriously. "I'm impatient and you know that."

I turn my head so can place a small kiss on her lips, urging her to keep the virtue. I feel her smile her smile against my lips as she captures them in hers. Not one to overlook an opportunity, I turn around completely, gathering her into my arms and placing my hands on her hips. She snakes her arms around my neck pulling me closer and deepening the kiss. For a moment I forget everything but the beautiful creature before me but almost as instantly as our kiss started, she pulls away with an audible pop.

"My eggs!" she says horrified. I groan at the sudden lost and turn around to the now slightly burned dish. I turn back to Sydney meekly. "That's it! I'm never kissing you again!" she pledges.

"So you were using me for my cooking?" I say laughing.

Still saddened she replies matter-of-factly, "It's one of your admirable qualities."

"Syd, forget the eggs." I say breathily hoping to continue our prior activity.

"How can you forget the eggs?" She says stubbornly.

With a devilish grin, I pull her towards me again and move to kiss her again. When we part, her mind is still set on the outcome of her breakfast. "This doesn't change anything." She says gravely. laughing, I lean over towards her again and into another kiss.

-=-=-=-=-=-

As I washed our breakfast dishes, I hear Sydney coming back inside her apartment with a chain jingling in her hand. She finds me in the kitchen and walks in with none other than Donnovan following her. Excited by the new territory, the little bull dog is exploring with the highest earnest.

"He remembers me!" she says triumphantly, placing the leash on the table.

My only answer is a laugh as I marvel at how happy Sydney is at this accomplishment. Drying my hands on a towel, I reach down and ruffle through Donnovan's fur. He licks my hand a moment before he darts away to bound through the apartment. Though Sydney might have met him once or twice, it doesn't surprise me that Donnovan would remember her.

"I think I want to steal your dog, Vaughn." When I look over at her horrified, she answers, "He's so cute!"

I want to tell her more than anything that I would be more than happy to share him with her, but I think better of it. As if on cue, Donnovan comes back into the room at breakneck speed running between our ankles. "Donnovan is not 'cute.' He's... he's a very masculine dog." I say defensively.

It's her turn to laugh as she bends down and picks the dog up. "Tell Vaughn you want to live with me, Donny." she prompts him.

"This is so ridiculous." I say exasperated. Suddenly, I get an idea in my head. "You can own him for the rest of the day- in return for a favor."

She cocks her head to me. "Are you serious? You would sell your dog for favors?" I give her a look and she just keeps grinning failing on getting a straight face on. "It depends on what it is."

"You'll find out after we take him for his walk." I say. After a moment, "If you're up for it, that is."

Her smile grows wider as she sets Donnovan down. "You're going to regret this, you know?"

"I don't know about that.." I say returning her smirk.

-=-=-=-=-=-

After getting changed, Sydney and I head out to the beach- if it was any more convenient, it would be right in her backyard. When we left, our conversation was limited to banter and playful protest; otherwise, the walk proved to be too quiet for my liking. As I would expect, she has control of Donnovan's leash, going at a slower pace than I remember; most likely because of her injury, but if she doesn't say anything, neither will I.

Sydney's protests to tell her the other end of the bargain have gotten less frequent as we turn into the boardwalk. Though it isn't quite noon, the booths of the year-around carnival are up and very much alive. We past a few more booths until we past one in particular that catches my eye- a bottle shooting game that to my delight has a large selection of stuffed dogs as prizes. I stop Sydney and point to the booth with a smirk. She stops but laughs and silently gives me consent. The carnie on the other hand is more than delighted.

"How's about it tough guy? Win a prize for the pretty lady?" He says gesturing to the wall of animals.

I give a Syd a sly look before I answer. "I don't know. Sure I guess."

Beside me, Sydney is trying to stifle her laughter as I take out my wallet and pay the man. Taking the plastic gun in my hand, weighing it lightly.

"Knock down five and you're a winner." He says piling up bottles. "Knock down ten and you got yourself one of the big prizes."

I rid my role of nervous first-timer when I cock my gun and take aim. As expected, I take down all ten with two shots. The man looks at me curiously and obviously annoyed that I passed his likely-to-be-rigged game and didn't blow forty dollars trying to win a prize. He finally admits defeat and turns to Syd disgruntled. "Pick one."

She hands me Donnovan's leash as she accepts her larger than life prize. As we walk away she leans over. "I'd thank you, but what we just did has to illegal." She says laughing.

"I saw no rule in my handbook." I say innocently. "Why didn't we think of this before? We can make a fortune.."

We both double up in laughed as we continue our walk down the boardwalk. When our giggles subside, she looks over at me with the most gorgeous smile. I falter when I feel her taking me free hand. Instead of fighting this, I accept it, returning her smile with my own happy grin.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Hours pass by so easily with Sydney and it almost feels like nothing has ever changed between. We've traded possessions as she seems to be more than willing to give up her stuffed dog in return for mine. Even though I feel ridiculous holding it, her hand still in mine, makes up for it. Handholding is innocent, but I couldn't help but feel guilty in a way. Guilty because she's willing to forgive me so easily or maybe guilty because I'm enjoying this. As she tells me about a side of Jack I never knew, Donnovan gets away from her as he yanks on his leash to chase something in front of us.

Hurrying up a little to catch her, I and almost laugh at her when I notice something out of the ordinary. She's clutching her stomach grimacing and obviously in pain. I look over at her in concern as my hand grazes her shoulder.

"Syd-"

"I'm fine." she assures me.

Sighing, I put a hand on the small of her back and guide her to a bench nearby. She sits down without any more protests when I loop the leash onto the bench's arm. Looking over to her again, she seems to have regained her composure. "Syd, this was a bad idea..."

"No, we just- Can we sit for a while?"

"Of course." I say quickly.

She sits back and allows herself to rest against the back of the bench. "I probably just shifted wrong." I nod and automatically, my arm goes around her as she leans against my shoulder. The air is cooler where we are so I pull it off my jacket and put it around her shoulders. She smiles but doesn't look at me. "Sorry." she replies timidly.

I pull her closer to me as I shake my head. "Don't be. Just- just don't scare me again."

My only answer is a nod as she buries her face into my chest once again.

-=-=-=-=-=-

"So not only does he fetch, he _rolls over_ too." I say proudly as I follow Sydney back into her apartment. The prior mishap forgotten, we head back in hours later. Still going on his excitement, Donnovan darts ahead of us into the living room. Sydney laughs at his eagerness but waits for me to continue. "Who knew we had Eric so well-trained?"

My reward is a beautiful laugh that is music to my ears. How could I have gone so long without it? She sets her keys down and flops down onto the couch with the stuffed dog with the most utmost grace. She mutters something I can't hear but that smile doesn't leave her face. Donnovan leaps into her lap as I sit down and she looks over at me in surprise.

"Donnovan likes me!" she says happily.

"If he remembers who feeds him and bathes him, he likes me more;" I protest. After a moment, I add, "but I can't see anyone not liking you."

I deserve an award because I've managed to make Sydney Bristow blush. She tries to brush it off, but I know that juvenile comment actually got to her.

"He shouldn't be in your lap though," I say picking up the dog and placing him on the floor.

She looks at me slightly hurt. "You're no fun."

"I shared my dog and I got you your own- I'm loads of fun." I manage to say with a straight face.

She burst into laughter at my seriousness. "Well, can we trade?"

"Donnovan for the that stuffed gerbil?"

"I'll even throw in my jacket." she says taking it off.

"That's my jacket." I point out as she hands it to me.

"And this too." she adds handing me a receipt. My eyes widen as I see the object and my mind quickly tells me what the receipt was for. Unfortunately, my expression isn't subtle. Sydney catches my face and glances over at the piece of paper again with raised eyebrow. "Hmm.. What exactly is this paper, Vaughn?"

"Nothing." I say snatching the paper from her outstretched hand.

She had a curious smile on her face and there are doubts about whether I can keep it a secret. "Buying more mature items?"

"No! I wouldn't buy my mom a-"

"You bought your mom something?" she says her eyes lighting up.

"Yes.." I mumble. "Which is what I wanted to ask you.."

Her smile gets even brighter. "Wow.. Donnovan and the other part of the bargain. Is it my birthday?"

I look at her seriously. "I actually bought a gift for my mom. It's her- uh birthday. My aunt- she and my mom are really close and she's throwing her a party this year. I was wondering if..."

Her face is grave and she's suddenly silent. I have to say I definitely wasn't anticipating this. "Does she know about..?

"Yeah. I told her two weeks ago- just not with so much context." I say quickly. "But she's known about you for awhile." I add with a soft smile.

Her lips quiver with an oncoming smile. "I really don't know about this, Vaughn."

"I understand-"

"I'll make you a deal: you show me that receipt, and I'll happily go." She says, the smile returning to her face.

A rush of relief overtakes me and I silently agree to play her little game as I get off the couch and go around the other side, far away from her grasp. "Not a chance, Syd." I say a menacing smirk on my face.

"Vaughn-" she says sternly getting up and heading over to me.

"Bristow?" I say matching her tone.

I start to move away with every step she takes towards me. She laughs but only increases her pace and it's only a matter of time before we make several runs around the couch. Getting tired, I stop at the arm of the couch and hold the receipt above me head and just out of her grasp. My height advantage isn't helping her as she tries to inch closer. I suddenly notice our position. Her body pressed against me sends my memory sensors into high gear. I have no time to revel in the moment because Sydney's latest attempt makes me loose my balance and sends us both tumbling backwards onto the couch.

My first thought is that this might have hurt her but her vibrant laughter assures me otherwise. If our first position was bad, this one is terrible. I can feel her laughter vibrate against my own chest and it brings me to my own smile as I pull one of my hands around to steady her, making sure she doesn't fall. I pull another hand through her hair as I pledge to myself that Syd is the most beautiful as she is when she's laughing. When I do it though, her laughter subsides slowly.

"You're so damn stubborn." she says her smile now more shy.

I look at her again seeing something in her eyes that I never saw with Lauren. Love and pure adoration is reflected in those beautiful chocolate eyes. "God, you're so beautiful, Syd." I say breathlessly. She blushes again under my scrutiny and it only widens my own smile.

As if time is on pause, she leans towards me so slowly. She's inches away from my face and we're breathing the same air. I move to close the distance when-

"I cannot believe you guys.. both.. left-"

His words break off as Weiss stops at the door way, his mouth slightly open and his apparent anger replaced with shock and confusion. Almost instantly, Syd leaps up and off me as I quickly sit up. Her face is red with embarrassment as I'm sure mine is. The moment feels strangely familiar and doesn't fail to make me feel like a teenager that just got caught making out with his girlfriend while his parents were out; only this time it's much more different.

Eric is my best friend and he has been ever since college but at the moment? Not so much.

"Um.. I'm really sor-"

"Hey Eric.. Have you eaten yet?" Syd says her voice wavering. Without waiting for an answer, she hurries into the kitchen and not very discreetly.

"Mike- I.. uh.." He says looking over at me. "Not a great time?" he tries meekly. I don't answer him as I breath a sigh of frustration. Pulling the jacket over my face, I fall back into the couch.

-=-=-=-=-=-

****

TBC

A/N: Muah ha ha ha.. I'm eeevviill... I hoped you guys like this longer than usual chapter and the cheesy fluff. I've done my job, so now it's your turn which is decide to make my day by leaving me a nice review or even if you feel like it, constructive criticism... I lurve it all. Toodles until next time, my lovely readers!


	11. Misconception

A/N: Hi, I'm Julina and I used to write this fic. Well I still do but yeah.. Anyways this update's been a long time coming and I take full responsibility for that. I so happy that you guys that have reviewed in the past have liked the fic but I have higher standards for myself and I took a while and read this fic back and iono.. just realized I can do so much more better. So yeah, I put this fic off and actually wrote three other fics which I am proud of. (Hope to see you there of course) Now don't get me wrong, this fic was my baby for a while and I just strayed too far. As long as you guys like it, I'll continue cause that's what matters.

Dedications: Well, **you**. (Yes you there!) Seriously though if you're reading this despite the fact it took me so long, you deserve this fic dedicated to you. And a pony. And Michael Vartan. (I can only do so much guys..)

Disclaimer: I do not own _Alias_ here. I do not own _Alias_ anywhere. (Lol) Also movie that the kids are watching isn't mine.

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**Chapter 11 - Misconception**

When I was younger, I once watched action movies all the time. Now mind you, my parents never really approved of their son watching such violence even though it was tame considering what the cut between a "PG-13" and a "R" rating is today. Never the less, I watched those movies with zest and could you blame me? These men were everything I aspired to be when I was younger and they taught me things Langley could never. So of course, I watched them when my parents were out and my babysitters never cared since they thought I was so cute. I thought I had it all planned out and I was actually proud of my accomplishment and never realized how stupid my plans were.

Well that was proven when I practiced said movie violence on my cousin, Eddie during a family gathering. Need less to say, it wasn't very bright and I was punished right away. This memory only comes to me as I wait at a light at the corner of a park, watching my eight-year old self with comical reverence.

There was that mission in Taipei, leaving Sydney that night, and marrying Lauren- all pretty dumb of me to do, but I couldn't help but think that what happened minutes ago seemed to take the cake.

I made a move on Syd. While she had a wounded chest. And Eric caught me before I did anything.

Life threatening diseases? Life-altering decisions? Generally duplicitous wives? Naw. This is one takes the first three spots on the list.

I hit another light and it's all it takes to frustrate me. My head falls forward onto the steering wheel as I try to remember what lame excuse I had for leaving in the first place. Leaving Sydney with Eric to go who knows where probably wasn't the brightest decision but at the moment, I didn't care too much about Eric's welfare.

A few moments pass by when my phone starts sounding from where I threw it on the passenger seat. It could be anyone but I really had no energy to talk to whoever it was. I reach over to pick up the phone as the light changes to take a quick glance at the caller ID. It doesn't surprise me that it's a Eric.

A sigh. "Hello?"

"Mike?" His voice is hushed on the other end.

I screw up on my face in confusion. So he's hiding from her now? What kind of person was he?

It's not even a question and it comes out a little harsher than I had expected it to. "_What_."

"Get. Over. Here. Now." He answers hurriedly.

"What did you do now?"

He's quiet for a second and I hear him shuffle around. "Syd's acting crazy. She's _cooking_."

I pass the same sign for the third time when I finally decide to pull over to talk to him. "You don't say?"

"Like lots of food." A pause. "And she's trying to get me to come out to eat."

"Well like I am, I'm sure you're familiar with eating and that thing that she's doing? I know she's using the big fiery table, but I promise: she'll be okay."

"Hey! I cook!" He interjects.

It's then that I pull my hand to my head. "Eric, what is it?"

"Where the hell are you? She's creeping me out!" he hissed. "She's all Stefford and acting as if nothing happened!"

I sigh, now more exasperated than ever. "Well Weiss, nothing _did_ happen."

He's silent for a moment before he takes an inward breath. "_That's_ what this is about.."

"Give the man a prize!"

He grunts in protest and but quickly forgets it. He's quiet for a moment but I can almost see the evil grin on his face. "So what _were_ you guys doing when I came in?"

It was inevitable that I had to come back here, but I didn't know it was so soon.

Standing outside her door, I feel seventeen and anticipating a first date. It get me angry since this is so out of character but that's just the kind of things hat Sydney can do to me.

Inside, it seems like Eric either got caught hiding or just got hungry- Syd did always cook pretty well. She's chattering away animatedly, and like Eric said, pretending as if nothing happened. For a moment, I consider going in there, kissing her in front of Eric and all just to prove my point. It drives me crazy that she's not worrying about this as much as I am. The other part of me is worried that this stupid stunt might just have driven us further apart.

Being gone half and hour was what I decided to be not _too_ long but not too soon either. It gave me time to think though: had Eric not walked in, what would we be doing? I could get reprimanded by Syd's doctors for what I'm thinking but deep down, there's no doubt in my mind that she wouldn't have pulled away. All this time, it was me refuses her after everything that I've done, she has enough maturity to forgive and forget.

So why can't I let that happen?

A few minutes later when I finally open the door, I find it unlocked. I had hoped to enter unnoticed, but I was just naive to think that it would be so easy. As soon as the door creaks open, Eric's face lights up and he jumps up from his place at the couch. Syd on the other hand turns grave.

"MIKE! You're back after such.. a long, long time!"

I look down at my shoes refusing to meet Eric's eyes for fear of catching hers. "I just went for a drive."

"Well want some food? Syd made a bunch.." He shakes his head in confusion when I don't answer immediately. He takes a moment to look at her, then back to me. "Alright, Mike, this is Syd. Syd, Vaughn."

I shoot him a dirty look and to my surprise, so does she. Eric openly squirms and if this was a few years ago, I'd probably be laughing and I'd give almost anything to break the tension right about now. I knew when I volunteered to stay with her that it wasn't going to be easy. Risking certain death, I look over to her and she's smiling that smile of two years ago and it doesn't cease to make me smile as well. She meets my eyes for a moment as I search for some indication that perhaps I haven't messed everything up.

"Are you hungry? Cause I made some stuff and.." She trails off.

I shake my head quickly and divert my glance from hers. The room turns silent again as Weiss starts looking between the two of us, obviously confused. He shrugs and gets up, slipping into his jacket. He heads to the door without another word but finds I'm in his way.

"Were you planning on leaving, Weiss?" I say almost too sweetly.

He nods. "Well I brought over another movie but you guys are about as fun as the Ebola virus." He gives me a grin a mumbles something along the lines of, "You'll be able to do more when I'm not here anyway," as he passes by me and out the door.

There's another one of those moments where I find myself wishing I was somewhere else again. "So.." I say swaying on my heels. Syd looks up at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Yup.."

I smile nervously as she indicates that she's gonna get back into the kitchen. I almost debate on whether or not to follow her or not when I realize what it is I'm thinking. Giving up, I flop back onto the couch as I hear her turn on the burner, obviously cooking again. If everything does end up okay, it'll be an awkward ride to that point. There's no doubt about it: this would be interesting.

She comes out about half an hour later and I'm almost convinced she's cooked all the food that we bought yesterday at the store. She places a few dishes in front of me on the coffee table and silently hands me a plate. All in all, if we weren't in a situation like this, I would have reveled in the domesticity of it and actually find it kind of cute. (Of course I don't _tell_ her this) She picks up the movie that Weiss picked out and brightens when she reads the title. With a grin she turns to me.

"Up for a movie?"

For the next few hours, she almost seems to have forgotten what had happened earlier. She laughs at the funny parts and throws various objects at me when I make fun of her for cooing. The movie's isn't about done when she reaches over and grabs more popcorn from the bowl of popcorn in my lap. Despite the fact that I've barely touched it, she refuses to hold the bowl- a sure sign of her stubbornness. Though it's random, her action makes me laugh out loud.

"What?" she looks at me amused.

I shake my head hoping that it'll be enough to cover my slip. "It's nothing."

Of course this doesn't get past her and she gets openly suspicious. Never the less, she turns back to the movie and further immerses herself into the plot. Sure it's a chick flick and whenever I used to watch them with her, the same things happen. I forgive the fact that she makes me watch these sickenly sweet comedies because in the end, her enjoyment is enough.

"Vaughn?"

I look up. "Hmm?"

"Are you actually enjoying the movie?"

I laugh again and she throws her remaining pillow back at me. "What!?" I say shielding myself.

"You can't disrespect the movie like that!" she scowls when I roll my eyes. "I love this movie!"

"And every other movie we ever watched.." I mumble.

"That's not true, and you know it." she says now grinning.

"I don't remember any of the titles to mock you with so consider yourself told off." I say mock-seriously. She laughs but doesn't throw anything at me again. All silliness aside, she shifts slightly in her seat, finally realizing how close she's gotten through the course of the movie. She kind of blushes when she does and unconsciously tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear, a shy smile playing on her face.

"I was thinking earlier about the popcorn," She smiles again, this time brighter as I continue. "How you never took it and.."

I let my words trail off as both of us mentally complete the sentence: she never took the popcorn because we rarely finished a movie if we were together.

Her eyes move back to the screen, watching but obviously not paying attention. I let a hand rest on hers and it gets her attention quickly. She looks back at me reluctantly. I'm being sincere when I say it and I know in my heart that she agrees. "I miss that, Syd."

She looks away again her attention back on the movie as the climactic ending starts to play. She thinks twice and turns back to me, a soft smile on her face as she responds, "Me too."

The movie ends a few minutes later and we're able to finish it without too many events. She stretches lazily and but doesn't stand. Instead she lays back on the couch, pulling the afghan over her body. She's seems so content so I get up and move towards the bathroom determined to get ready for bed but not sure where I'll be sleeping as long as she's on the couch. When I stretch for myself, she stops me suddenly.

"Hey Vaughn?"

I'm almost afraid to look over but I do. "Yeah?"

She seems to hesitate before she talks, almost debating whether she wants to ask me what she's about to ask me. With the blanket pulled over her like that, she almost seems like a child and the tone of her voice almost prevents me from wanting to deny her anything.

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

I grin and nod, and I know she'll get a kick out of this. I choose my best Tom Cruise look, obviously choosing him over his co-star and answer her.

"You had me at hello."****

TBC

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A/N: (Whoever guesses the movie Syd and Vaughn are watching gets a cookie!) So? Too short? Too cheesy? Let me know cause I missed you guys! ::snoogles:: Leave some feedback cause hopefully you missed this fic too. =) 


	12. What Normal Is

**A/N: **Argh.. I could. not. write. this. chapter. It was hard but I just sucked it up and did it. Funny thing was, I kept working on the _next_ chapter, so expect something sugary sweet soon. I know that we're all a little sad about the.. recent developments.. on _Alias_ so I just felt we needed a little fluff here.. Enjoy!

**Dedications: **Many people in this chapter.. It seems like a lot of new people picked up the fic in that last chapter and I can't even name them all! Lol. I'd like to extend a little welcome to the new people and a big hug to those who mentioned they missed this fic. ::hugs:: And a cookie to everyone that guessed correctly! (BTW, the movie was Jerry McGuire)

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I own nothing of the sort.

**Chapter 12 - What Normal Is**

_I wake up that next morning looking forward to staying at home and doing virtually nothing. I know Sydney doesn't have work because I'd arranged it that way but I can't help but smile at the thought of how we'll spend our day. There are already a million thoughts in my head but it's her that compels me to get up and actually do something about it. _

_Sure enough when I wake up, she's inches away from my face, a silly grin on her face that probably matches the one on mine. Every hair seems to be in place like it miraculously always is when we wake up in the morning. My favorite part is that in the morning and only in the morning does she have this unique glow that just makes me wish for more mornings like this. _

"_Morning, you." I mumble. _

"_Morning." She leans over placing a small kiss on my nose, laughing at my reaction. "Good dream?" _

_Untangling them from the covers, I snake my arms around her, bringing her closer. And leaning in, I finally get the chance to kiss her properly. She laughs when we apart. "You have no idea."_

_Her grin gets impossibly bigger and she buries her head into my chest, batting her eyelashes with each word. "Oh yeah?" She scoots closer than ever to me, inches away from my face now. "Tell me about it.." _

_=-=-=-=-=-=_

I want more than anything to complete the memory that keeps circling around my head, but I don't - not willingly at least. Being this close to her again, sharing more than housing makes me think of the way things used to be between Sydney and I. The past week hasn't been easy obviously but somehow that night when I agreed to stay with her, things have changed dramatically.

I don't want to completely forget the fact that we ended up on a couch together, but she does. There hasn't been any mention of it at all but then again, things couldn't be any better between us. Besides the obvious physical contact, we seem to have fallen back into the comfort we've had years ago.

She smiles more, I've noticed and from Eric's teasings, it seems that I have as well. Whenever we happen to meet, I get the occasional inappropriate comment about us but it doesn't bother me anymore because deep down, I know that what comes with his ridicules are worth it completely.

I fight the urge to laugh out loud when a child comes up to Sydney and Donnovan, politely asking permission to pet, "the tubby puppy." Sydney wears a mask of confusion, unsure if she should allow it as Donnovan runs around erratically around her. From my view from the bench, the sight is comical as the child remains persistent. After her escapade, she flops down onto the seat next to me, huffing out a breath.

"Why do all these kids come up to me only when I have the leash?"

Laughing, I reply, "Because you're more approachable than I am."

She makes a face and then continues to rest, prompting me to think that this walk might have gone on longer than it should have. Our walks have become a daily occurrence and because she is discouraged to go out too much, she revels in it. Over time, she's healing so perhaps this is actually good for her; all I know is that it makes her happy, which is fine with me.

She scowls again both when Donnavan settles down at our feet and she notices my amused expression. "What?"

"Nothing."

Her looks aren't foreign to me so when she raises her eyebrows, I flash her another smile. To take her mind off her speculations, I ask her if she wants a ice cream cone and willing get into the long line when she complies. The wait isn't long, but out of the corner of my eye, I see a man approach Sydney and to my surprise, embraces her. The man begins to talk animatedly and even at one point, pets Donnovan. I try to turn my head nonchalantly as I watch their interaction, a million thoughts going through my head.

I shouldn't be jealous.

She's _not_ my girlfriend, after all.

For all I know, the man's a cousin of hers.

The man behind the ice cream cart clears his throat and my head spins back to him. Through my ministrations, I've moved up to the beginning of the line. I choose and pay for two cones and with all the subtleness I have, I maneuver back over to them. When Sydney catches sight of me, her face brightens considerably; there's a look of pure desperation in her eyes and it was all that I needed to convince myself that perhaps this jealousy was misplaced.

After a few more moments, when the man finally noticed that Sydney was no longer pay attention, he looked up and spotted me. I met his wary glance with an almost territorial look and Syd steps in a moment later.

She rushes up to me, a plastic grin on her face and places a hand on my arm. "Oh Michael, you're back!" she exclaims dryly.

I reserve my smile for her and hand over her ice cream. I extend my free hand over to the man he reluctantly takes it. "Hi, Michael Vaughn. So you're a friend of Syd's?"

"Yeah we went to high school together. I'm Richard. And you're..?"

"He's uh.." Syd stammered.

I think quickly of the best way to get out of this awkward position and decide to damn them all to hell, picking the route I find most amusing. I step a little closer to Syd and without another thought, I slip my arm around her waist protectively. When I do this, she trails off in her sentence and looks to me, obviously confused.

"Oh honey, is this the Richard you were telling me about?"

I know damn well this is the "Richard" Syd had told me about a few days ago. We had a rut where we decided to recollect our entire high school careers to each other. Sydney's past contained _a_ Richard and by the way she was acting and the way she looked at him, well.. It made me want to act on all the things she told me this jerk did.

Luckily for me, Syd picks up on my act quickly and even goes as far as to slide her arm around me as well. "No dear, that was _another_ Richard. That Richard was a complete ass; this Richard was nothing but sweet to me during high school."

Along with Syd, Richard seems to have picked up on her "mistake" and is visibly uneasy. I plaster on a fake smile and take the game to another level. "Of course, you are. I bet you probably can help me find the guy who seemed to be so horrible to Syd. I don't know how far I would go, but I can't have anyone harassing my wife."

Richard and Sydney both tense with those words but I'm having too much fun to ever consider stopping. "How much you bench there, Rich?"

"Oh, I don't lift much.."

I tsk for added affect. "That's a shame- it keeps you in shape for when you might need your strength."

He nods languidly. "Well, I actually have to get going."

"So soon?" Sydney mentions.

He nods again, mimicking upset. "Nice seeing you, Sydney and nice meeting you, Michael." he says timidly extending his hand.

"A pleasure." I say taking. He leaves moments after and I turn back to Syd hoping she found the situation as funny as I did. Shaking my head, I say, "That was rude; leaving so soon."

Syd cocks her head to the side for a moment and then lets out a laugh. "That has got to be the most ridiculous thing I've done in ages."

"Well, I don't know. You've only been out of work for a few weeks." I say grinning.

She glares playfully. "True, but you've been out of work almost as much as I have."

"You _miss_ work?"

She shrugs. "I miss seeing everyone."

"So visit them." I deduce.

"Not a bad idea." She says getting up. She finishes off her ice cream and throws the napkin away. With me sitting on the bench still, there's a strange sense of dejá vu. I quickly get up and courteously offer her my arm as she takes Donnovan's leash again.

To my satisfaction, she _does _take my arm and it's enough to overwhelm myself with happiness. She gives me one of those shy smiles of hers and I feel as if I know what she's thinking. I didn't let, "wife" slip accidentally and I hope she knows that. Someday, everyone will know that and if Sydney's with me, I'm content to wait as long as it takes.

"Work's fun and all, but you got admit, this isn't _so_ bad."

=-=-=-=-=-=

The next morning, per her request, I drop Syd off at Carrie's home. I walk her in and decline when Carrie asks me to stay. She hasn't seen Mitchell since his birth but when Carrie brings him out to the living room her eyes light up. My mind wanders when I sit there for the required amount of time. Silly as it is, I used to entertain the thought that Sydney and I would have a family together and I felt that we could still do that. Before I say anything that I regret, I excuse myself and promise to pick Sydney up later.

When I leave their home and head to my car, it feels almost empty with out Syd in it. I've spent most of my time with her the past few weeks and after a few minutes, I seem to already start to feel a withdrawal. Over the past few days, I've had almost no contact with anyone from work aside from Weiss. Of course I've always wondered what happen to Lauren and a a part of me- an irrational part, wants dire revenge and has the undying need to protect Syd and kill Sark for what he did to her. This time I've spent with her though, getting to know her again, it's somehow encouraged me to put it behind me.

I could have gone completely crazy, risking my life and others to get them, but now, I'm just more grateful that I have Syd's alive. She'll care if something happens to me and that's enough to stop me from doing anything stupid. It would hurt me more to know that I couldn't protect her- or at least try.

I clear my head and decide that what I should do with my free time is a better thing to be thinking of. Over the past few weeks, I haven't been able to pick up any hockey for one reason or the other, so it's obviously the first thing that pops into my head. Somehow though, I can't help but want to go in.. to at least check on them.

When I chose my outfit this morning, I obviously didn't plan to come into work. It's only then when I realize how informal my clothes probably come off as. I brush it off and just suck it up and go into the building, parking my car in it's usual spot. When I enter though, it's an entirely different situation.

Inside the ops center, it's a bustle of activity and everyone- for the first time in my time there- seems to be doing something. It strikes me as a bit curious, because something big must have happened to garner all this dedication. I spot Eric's behind his desk and head over.

"Someone die?"

At the sound of my voice, he jumps, overturning a stack of papers on his desk. I almost laugh when I bend down to help him pick them up. "What are you doing here?" he asks, flustered.

I look at him skeptically, a smile still on my face. "I work here, remember?"

He sits down while I grab a chair. He looks around, then back to me, and whispers, "Did someone call you?"

I shake my head, "No. Was someone suppose to? I just had some free time."

"You shouldn't be here right now, man." He says flatly.

Despite all the sign he's been dropping since I've got here, this finally sparks my attention. There's nothing out there that the agency would try to keep from me, specifically. I look around and sure enough, I've seem to have caught a few stares from others.

"Weiss, what's going on?"

He sits back and looks around again, clearly uneasy. For a moment there's silence. I look at him expectantly and he musters up some courage and thankfully decides our friendship over work.

"Remember how I didn't show up last night for the movie?"

"Yeah.." I nod my head the situation flashing through my head. He'd called and canceled with Syd and I last minute sitting that he had to work a little later than he'd plan. I never in my mind ever thought that this was what he was doing. I prompt him to continue and he does, looking up from his hands and facing me finally.

"Sark and Lauren- we took them in custody last night, Mike."

**  
TBC**

**  
A/N: **Lol.. I was only half kidding when I wrote earlier, "Let's just pretend Lauren fell off the face of the earth!" So.. Liked? Didn't like? Let me know cause you know I cherish your feedback. =)


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